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Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Growing Apathetic

As I am searching for who I am, there are things I am finding that have lost my interest.

Heaven forbid that a fashionista like myself ever lose interest in clothing... but I have. The last time I went shopping, I was disappointed in the selection of clothing the stores had to offer. Call it a sign of maturity, but I have all but given up on looking like I just stepped out of a magazine. Clothing nowadays is so short, tight, and geared towards Twiggy looking kids that I have no use for it anymore. When I was a size 8, fashion seemed to come naturally... and that was just two years ago! I could walk in to any store and grab my size and look good in it. If I were to do that now, I would end up buying maybe one thing: a pair of shoes or jewelry. My size may be larger, but my body shape is the same (if that makes any sense).

Here I am at a size 8 and unwed. Still curvy through the hips and no thigh gap. A juicy pear shape.

This is what I want to be like again.

Talking to my husband about my weight, I asked him what his ideal body type was for women. He said confidence and I immediately thought "oh you liar."

Is anyone else having this battle? Wanting to please their husband, but he gives you answers like mine did?



Ugh.




With my growing apathy towards fashion, I realize that even if I wasn't a size 12, I would have less of a desire to dress like I used to. I don't want to impress anyone and I certainly don't want attention from any male other than my husband. With this, I am choosing clothes that are modest, mature, and professional. I am still in blue jeans every single day, but I am not casual like my sister who wears tennis shoes and tee shirts. I couldn't be that casual.

Anyone with advice or that can encourage the one who is supposed to be the encourager, please comment or message me. I could really use it.

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