Solitude

When I was in college, we all had to do a Myers Briggs profile in our psychology class. I was given the label of an ISFP: The Artist. A fellow ISFP is Princess Aurora from Disney's Sleeping Beauty.

At this point, I know what you are thinking, not another Disney post! Well, just hang in there.

 I have always felt a connection to this princess, even though I never outwardly showed my like for her. I was always fascinated with the more modern princesses like Ariel, Jasmine, and later on, Belle. Now that my personality is becoming more and more concrete as I change from child to adult, I am noticing quite a parallel between myself and Aurora. Even her romantic story line shares some similarities to my life. The first thing I notice is that she does not mind solitude. This is an introvert feature at it's finest! I often have to put myself in a solitary environment just to think and process life.

In today's society, solitude is viewed in a very negative light. We have to be around someone or some sort of electronic stimulation so our minds are always actively engaged. This ought not be! When we shut off the TV, put down the phone, take off the earphones, and actually get into a place where the mental stimulation is significantly decreased we find out things about ourselves that no electronic device could tell us: what our minds are capable of. When I am alone, I always come up with the greatest story plots, painting ideas, and even music. I once wrote a simple piano piece after being inspired while sitting by a stream near my parent's house.

With the increase of technology and it's availability, we have become a world of fast-paced, instant-connectivity beings that are having more and more difficulty dealing with solitude. We can't handle it! Here is an interesting article about the impact of technology: https://sites.google.com/a/cortland.edu/braxton-hill-impact-on-solitude/disadvantages Here is a quote from the article:

People are also losing sight of appreciating the value of being alone, letting one think freely and creatively, uninterrupted by others.  Great minds like Mark Twain and Albert Einstein never sought the approval of others by tweeting or texting when they were alive.  These men made their best works in absolute seclusion from the rest of the world, and more and more people today are losing sight of just how valuable alone time can be.

The desire for being connected to others is greatly influenced by our need for companionship. My question is when is enough, enough? We are gluttons for companions and acceptance, that's why we flock to websites that make us feel like we are more valuable and give us a voice. These websites also give us a false sense of confidence.I have been blown away by the boldness of people when they are not face-to-face with the individual they are trashing on Facebook.

Another danger of technology is that it makes us think the same. There is no true creativity and individualism anymore. We all think in hashtags and pictures with filters. When we step back from technology, we can evaluate our own thoughts, opinions, and ideas without being told what to think. Even with this blog, I want you to make up your own mind about what I am saying. Evaluate the truth behind what I post and accept it or reject it because of your own convictions. (I will not talk about absolute truth, but simply say that I am a believer of such "archaic" morals and I have never been more proud).

In the spirit of this post, I will say good day and go outside to get lost in thought. I encourage you to do the same.

Friendship: leeches and lovers

As stated in my post yesterday, I have set forth goals for this weekend.

How are they going?

Well I am glad you asked! I have painted my nails in a beautiful shade of blue and have begun laundry, as well as cleaning out my shoe collection. Tomorrow will most likely be the big cleaning day for me. I really want to accomplish my goals!

In the midst of all of this, I got to hang out with one of my girlfriends I haven't seen in a couple of weeks. You know those people who you get along so well with but they live kinda far away? That's her. I treasure the time we spend together and look forward to the times she can come over.

Finding a kindred spirit is one of the hardest searches in my life. I know so many people who can make friends no matter where they go (my husband is a great example), but it is difficult for me.

When it comes to making friends I have more standards than a middle school girl does for her future husband. I want someone who is genuine and caring. Someone who has similar interests and beliefs as me. I found this quote that fits perfectly with what I find a great quality in friends:

We have all had at least one friend who went about friendship selfishly. They were only interested if the other person could benefit them. They seek out emotional fulfillment and never offer it back. They seek material gain and never sacrifice for the other. "Friends" like this are like leeches. They can drain you of life and resources.

I can think of my one friend. When I came to this realization, I was devastated. This was not the first time I had encountered a person who wanted to use me only to benefit themselves. The first person I knew invited me over to her house only to make fun of me at school the next week, or as a playmate they could push around.

Leeches can leave nasty scars. They can make you distrusting and lower your self-esteem. When looking for a true friend, seek someone who is more like a lover. They want to please you and make you happy. They aren't afraid to make themselves less to uplift you. Of course, when we find someone like this we should treat them the same as they treat us. We should desire to lift them up and please them just as much. Doing so will create a bond between the two of you that no amount of ail salon days or shopping trips could ever compare to.

When I think of a model friendship, I think of David and Jonathan in the Bible. If you haven't heard the story I highly suggest reading it!

How have you dealt with the leeches and lovers in your life? I would love to hear you stories.