Solitude

When I was in college, we all had to do a Myers Briggs profile in our psychology class. I was given the label of an ISFP: The Artist. A fellow ISFP is Princess Aurora from Disney's Sleeping Beauty.

At this point, I know what you are thinking, not another Disney post! Well, just hang in there.

 I have always felt a connection to this princess, even though I never outwardly showed my like for her. I was always fascinated with the more modern princesses like Ariel, Jasmine, and later on, Belle. Now that my personality is becoming more and more concrete as I change from child to adult, I am noticing quite a parallel between myself and Aurora. Even her romantic story line shares some similarities to my life. The first thing I notice is that she does not mind solitude. This is an introvert feature at it's finest! I often have to put myself in a solitary environment just to think and process life.

In today's society, solitude is viewed in a very negative light. We have to be around someone or some sort of electronic stimulation so our minds are always actively engaged. This ought not be! When we shut off the TV, put down the phone, take off the earphones, and actually get into a place where the mental stimulation is significantly decreased we find out things about ourselves that no electronic device could tell us: what our minds are capable of. When I am alone, I always come up with the greatest story plots, painting ideas, and even music. I once wrote a simple piano piece after being inspired while sitting by a stream near my parent's house.

With the increase of technology and it's availability, we have become a world of fast-paced, instant-connectivity beings that are having more and more difficulty dealing with solitude. We can't handle it! Here is an interesting article about the impact of technology: https://sites.google.com/a/cortland.edu/braxton-hill-impact-on-solitude/disadvantages Here is a quote from the article:

People are also losing sight of appreciating the value of being alone, letting one think freely and creatively, uninterrupted by others.  Great minds like Mark Twain and Albert Einstein never sought the approval of others by tweeting or texting when they were alive.  These men made their best works in absolute seclusion from the rest of the world, and more and more people today are losing sight of just how valuable alone time can be.

The desire for being connected to others is greatly influenced by our need for companionship. My question is when is enough, enough? We are gluttons for companions and acceptance, that's why we flock to websites that make us feel like we are more valuable and give us a voice. These websites also give us a false sense of confidence.I have been blown away by the boldness of people when they are not face-to-face with the individual they are trashing on Facebook.

Another danger of technology is that it makes us think the same. There is no true creativity and individualism anymore. We all think in hashtags and pictures with filters. When we step back from technology, we can evaluate our own thoughts, opinions, and ideas without being told what to think. Even with this blog, I want you to make up your own mind about what I am saying. Evaluate the truth behind what I post and accept it or reject it because of your own convictions. (I will not talk about absolute truth, but simply say that I am a believer of such "archaic" morals and I have never been more proud).

In the spirit of this post, I will say good day and go outside to get lost in thought. I encourage you to do the same.

Finding the Beauty Within the Beast

Readers: "Not another Disney reference!"

Me: "Oh yes!"

In a conversation with my mom yesterday, she mentioned how my story was like Beauty and the Beast... except I was the beast. I have always liked the story and the character of Belle, since she is a bookworm, but I have never thought of myself as the character of Beast.

One of my favorite retelling is "Beastly" by Alex Flinn, a modern version of the classic tale. It was the second book to movie that I reversed, reading the book after falling in love with the movie. The main character is not the beloved Beauty we hear so much about, but instead it is the Beast's side of the story. Getting to know the Beast brought an entirely new dimension to the tale. I saw his inner-struggle of wishing to be like his old self, then the acceptance of his new form.

This reminded me of my story before and after student teaching. Before I was a girl with a cushioned life. I never knew of life and its hardships. As my cooperating teacher told me my first semester, I was a spoiled little child that was never made to do anything. (Yes, go ahead and be in shock over the fact that a seasoned teacher got away with calling her student that. It boils my blood that she could call me that, and worse, and never be reprimanded.) Even though it was an uncalled for and very unprofessional statement, there was truth behind it. I had been spoiled in the sense that I had never had to pay bills, keep a clean house, or experience failing.

If I was the Beast in the story, my college professors and first teacher were the witch. Because of them, I was being transformed into something terrible: a bitter, self-loathing individual who would rather die than spend one more day in torment. That was the darkest point in my life.

As the story goes, Beauty enters in the form of a new semester and a new teacher. This teacher was wonderful! She was kind, patient, understanding, and helped me overcome my circumstance. She didn't judge me based on what had happened and gave me everything I needed to succeed. Because of her, I got my confidence back and was able to transform into the adult and teacher I never knew I could be.

I guess this stage could be called the post-transformation stage, when the Prince is finding out he is really like. Finding that his personality is different. Finding that by becoming a beast, he would never be the same as he once was. He will always carry the scars, the memories, and the emotions. He would be better off because of it, but there will always be a part of him that wishes the experience never happened. That maybe there could have been another way.

As if this post wasn't Disney enough, I would like to direct your attention to the following quote:

As wise as this advice is, only we can decide what to do with our past. The decisions we make with what to do with it will effect us for the rest of our days. Let the decision be as wise as Rafiki's advice.

While I continue to deal with the memory of being the Beast, I have to follow this advice. I can either run from it and forget, or learn from it and become stronger and find the beauty within the beast.

Mother Knows Best

If I wasn't a big enough Disney dork already, my husband bought me a journal yesterday with Ariel on the cover. Ariel was my first Disney love. My entire bedroom was decorated with Ariel. When I was "too big" to have an Ariel themed bedroom, I decorated with shells and dolphins. Today, my house has a very prominent oceanic theme. In spite of my Snow White exterior, I am an Ariel at heart.

Yesterday, I was telling my sister about the new movie Frozen that is coming to theaters this Thanksgiving. She replied with something that set me aback. "So it's another movie of a princess with mother issues? Name one movie that doesn't have a stepmother or the mother isn't in the picture." I replied with The Princess and the Frog, and Sleeping Beauty (if you could really count that since she was raised by her "aunts"). The more I thought about her statement, the more I realized it as true.

We hear all the time about fathers being absent from their child's life and the damage that does, but we can't let the mothers slide! There is something so essential for mothers to spend time with their daughters.

In several popular country songs, the singer says how Momma raised them to "rip up the town" or how their mom was from a "softer generation" so that gives the singer a right to act unbecoming. In both scenarios, I see how the mother was lax in her raising. Either she led her daughter down the wrong path by teaching habits that are inappropriate, or she was passive and let her daughter rule the roost.

Don't get me wrong, fathers play a crucial role in raising daughters, but mothers definitely have the greater responsibility. If a mother is a woman of virtue and lives a life according to Christ, she is the perfect model in which to mold her daughter after. If a mother is not spiritually strong enough to do this, it may be in her better interest to align herself with the Word of God before trying to teach morals and standards. Otherwise, you run a very high risk of causing your daughter to repeat history, or make decisions she should never have to.

Passive parenting seems to be the only kind of parenting nowadays. Everyone wants to be their child's friend and not oppress them. Do these parents not know about the damage that causes? When you want to be your child's friend, you are giving up your authority and making yourself equal with your child (or vice-versa). Your child will not respect you as a parent, but will eventually try to dominate you. This should never be! The role of the parent is to guide their child firmly and lovingly. the Bible says that we are to raise children in the way they should go, and when they are old they will not depart from it.

Because I am a teacher, I see myself as a part-time parent. During the eight hours I am with my students, I am guiding them in the way they should go. I teach them about the world around them, what is right and wrong, and show them God's truth in His Word. Although I did not give birth to them, or teach them to walk and talk, I feel like I am just as much of a mother as anybody.

I encourage all my mothers to consider how they parent. Are you showing your children what is acceptable and good? Are you supportive, but firm? Are you giving your children what they need to be productive members of society? If not, find someone to help you with this journey. Find a friend, a Christian book, or even a pastor to help you sift through your parenting skills and see where your strengths and weaknesses lie. Research ways to strengthen your parenting, but always model it after Biblical teaching. If you are not a parent, begin thinking of how you want to raise your children. It is never too early, or too late, to better yourself and enrich your life and the lives around you.

Dear Edna, Thank You.

As you may have guessed, I am a Disney freak. One of my favorite non-princess movies is "The Incredibles." Surfing through Pinterest, I came a cross this little nugget:

I would love an Edna like this in my life. Someone to hit me with a newspaper when I start to fall apart. 

The Bible refers this method of encouragement as "iron sharpening iron." A good hit to keep you sharp. Have you ever seen a sword being made? It is put through fire, then hit repeatedly until it is the way the blacksmith wants it, then into cold water to set the metal. This process is repeated and repeated until the sword is perfect. But not just any tool can be used to sharpen the iron into a sword. It has to be an iron mallet. The same material rebuffing the other to make it into something extraordinary and useful.

When someone tries to sharpen us, we say they are being judgmental or even hypocritical, because they are the same as us (sinners). Guess what though? The mallet and sword are made from the same material. What would it be like if the sword told the iron to stop sharpening it because it was iron, too. That's silly, isn't it? We do the same thing when we wrongfully call someone judgmental or hypocritical when they are trying to help you become a better person.

Sharpening someone can come in many forms: a newspaper hitting you, harsh words, or even a gentile reminder. Most of the time our pride is what is struck. When someone is sharpening you, don't think the correction is mean or judgmental. Instead use it to better yourself. After all, if the iron sword resisted the iron mallet sharpening it, it would never become a useful weapon.

Today I challenge my readers to not only to let themselves be sharpened by others, but to also help sharpen someone else.

~*Beth*~