I'm NOT a Hanger!

Recently, I saw a picture depicting the different types of body. The first one was labeled "normal" and had non-touching legs, flat tummy, and small chest. The next one was "chubby" and depicted a not-so-flat middle, touching legs, and a larger chest. It went on and on until the person was unhumanly large. The entire post made me quite upset, naturally.

To label something normal means there has to be a norm to begin with. We would say that it is normal for someone to have all the appropriate body parts. We would consider it abnormal if someone was born without arms or legs (but we love them nonetheless). We consider it abnormal for a parent to hate their child, because parents love their children. To say that a certain body type is normal shows a narrow-minded view of the diversity of the world. It is no less insulting to say that a certain skin color is normal and all others are abnormal and should be changed. Why should we give a pass to someone who thinks everyone should be skinny?

I have come to the conclusion that the reason they use skinny models is because they are not powerful enough to take on the clothing they wear. I saw a plus size swimsuit model recently who was so beautiful that I didn't notice her swimsuit at all. I could only focus on how radiant she was. She oozed confidence! The swimsuit didn't own her, she owned the swimsuit! It was no longer about the clothing, it was about the person. On the show "Ugly Betty" one of the main characters said "Designers only want to put their clothes on skinny hangers" and it is true. Nobody noticed the hanger, they notice the clothing. I don't want to be a hanger!

Today, I was talking to my students about the importance of being happy with who you are. I told them that there is no such thing as a normal body because God made us all different. I also shared a truth that was told to me by one of the wisest men I have known: the late Preacher Burdette, the pastor who started the church I attend. When I was coming into my teen years, I tried so hard to fit in. He noticed this and said to me "When you try to change yourself or cover up who you really are, it's like you're telling God 'Thanks but I don't like what you'e created'. So be happy with yourself." Even though it was forever ago, that advice remains with me, and I was happy to pass wisdom on to my students.

Now, I make a vow. I will be happy with myself and who God created me to be. Thick, thin, tall, or short, I am just who God wants me to be and I will be thankful that He created me that way.

Seasonal Color Analysis: True Summer (a correction to my first post)

If you read my first seasonal color analysis post, I would like to apologize because it was inaccurate. After researching, I am here to announce that I am NOT a dark winter as I previously stated. In fact, I am a cool (or true) summer. I have the high contrast between my skin and my eyes, however, I am not suited for the deep colors.

To see what I mean, click HERE to see examples of True Summers. Even though summers are typically thought of as blondes with fair skin. However, this is not so. You will see examples of so many women who do not fit within that stereotype.

The color palette of a True Summer is cool and muted. Here are two examples:



This is a more detailed palette including more of the colors.




Discovering that I was a True Summer has been a very exciting experience. I can also see where I was confused on my season. Winter shades are very similar to the shades above, but have a greater depth to them. I often felt smothered with some of the colors from the Dark Winter palette, but with the Summer shades, I feel more natural.

Here are some shots of me (old and new) in True Summer colors. Note that the background colors in the last two images are also from the palette.

Some of my most worn colors from this palette are navy, dusty lavender, turquoise, and cool red.

Makeup for True Summers are seen on this chart, although cool red can be added for lips.

The most prominent colors here are taupe, beige, raspberry, and dusty blue. These colors compliment your skin's coolness.

I am very pleased with finding my true colors and I encourage you to do the same. Finding what colors suit you best is the key to looking and feeling your best.

Lovely Legs

This picture made me giggle. It also has inspired today's post!

Way back in the day of your grandmother, curves were highly valued in America. They were a sign of sex appeal. They were a sign of health. They were what men desired.

Women back in the day looked more like this:

Notice her lower half. Large, meaty thighs, a firm tush, and killer calves! This was an ideal woman in the 50's. Her tummy was small, and her hips were full.

For contrast, let us look at an ideal woman model today:

Notice her overall thinness. Thin legs, arms, middle, and face. This is the image given to our country f how a woman should look.

I just have one question....

Ladies, love your body for what it is. Don't strive to be something different because it is what people say you should look like. If you are healthy, then who cares? So go ahead, bare those non touching legs!

Solitude

When I was in college, we all had to do a Myers Briggs profile in our psychology class. I was given the label of an ISFP: The Artist. A fellow ISFP is Princess Aurora from Disney's Sleeping Beauty.

At this point, I know what you are thinking, not another Disney post! Well, just hang in there.

 I have always felt a connection to this princess, even though I never outwardly showed my like for her. I was always fascinated with the more modern princesses like Ariel, Jasmine, and later on, Belle. Now that my personality is becoming more and more concrete as I change from child to adult, I am noticing quite a parallel between myself and Aurora. Even her romantic story line shares some similarities to my life. The first thing I notice is that she does not mind solitude. This is an introvert feature at it's finest! I often have to put myself in a solitary environment just to think and process life.

In today's society, solitude is viewed in a very negative light. We have to be around someone or some sort of electronic stimulation so our minds are always actively engaged. This ought not be! When we shut off the TV, put down the phone, take off the earphones, and actually get into a place where the mental stimulation is significantly decreased we find out things about ourselves that no electronic device could tell us: what our minds are capable of. When I am alone, I always come up with the greatest story plots, painting ideas, and even music. I once wrote a simple piano piece after being inspired while sitting by a stream near my parent's house.

With the increase of technology and it's availability, we have become a world of fast-paced, instant-connectivity beings that are having more and more difficulty dealing with solitude. We can't handle it! Here is an interesting article about the impact of technology: https://sites.google.com/a/cortland.edu/braxton-hill-impact-on-solitude/disadvantages Here is a quote from the article:

People are also losing sight of appreciating the value of being alone, letting one think freely and creatively, uninterrupted by others.  Great minds like Mark Twain and Albert Einstein never sought the approval of others by tweeting or texting when they were alive.  These men made their best works in absolute seclusion from the rest of the world, and more and more people today are losing sight of just how valuable alone time can be.

The desire for being connected to others is greatly influenced by our need for companionship. My question is when is enough, enough? We are gluttons for companions and acceptance, that's why we flock to websites that make us feel like we are more valuable and give us a voice. These websites also give us a false sense of confidence.I have been blown away by the boldness of people when they are not face-to-face with the individual they are trashing on Facebook.

Another danger of technology is that it makes us think the same. There is no true creativity and individualism anymore. We all think in hashtags and pictures with filters. When we step back from technology, we can evaluate our own thoughts, opinions, and ideas without being told what to think. Even with this blog, I want you to make up your own mind about what I am saying. Evaluate the truth behind what I post and accept it or reject it because of your own convictions. (I will not talk about absolute truth, but simply say that I am a believer of such "archaic" morals and I have never been more proud).

In the spirit of this post, I will say good day and go outside to get lost in thought. I encourage you to do the same.

Noises

This world is full of a lot of noise from people. Noise from their opinions on how you should live your life. Noise of complaints about how hard their life is and your life isn't important. Nose saying how you should dress, look, act, and think.

In the midst of all the noise in my life, I have somehow found a much quieter place where I can go to think. In that quiet place I can only hear the sounds of nature. Wind whispering through the leaves. The water of the pond coming alive with birds and amphibians. The sound of a family of hummingbirds flitting back and forth between flowers.

This is a place at my parents' house where I could go and think.Their entire pasture was my walking/horse riding trail where I could escape the noise.

The noise of nature is much more appealing. It is this kind of noise that helps wash away all the negative noise of others around me. The sensation is similar to taking a warm shower when you have been soaked by cold rain.

The noises we have in our life come in all volumes and pitches. It can be a loud, deep pitch that blocks out all other noises, or a quieter, high pitch that annoys you. Among all the noises in my life right now, I am beginning to find ways to silence those noises.

There are many ways to deal with noise. You can confront whatever is making the noise and silence the source. For example, if a noise is consonantly making you feel bad, you can tell the noise how you feel. The noise could even change its tune and be a positive noise.

However, if a noise is hurtful and you have tried to confront the noise, you may have to not be around that noise. So far, I have found that removing yourself from a noisy situation is one of the best ways to get rid of noise. I have one noise in particular that always makes me feel miserable and less than who I really am. My way of dealing? I stay away from that noise. When you can't hear the noise, it no longer has effect on you.


Not all noises are bad. My quiet place is full of noise, but it is noise that doesn't bombard me. Cling to the noise that you want to listen to. I give this advice with caution, though. Sometimes noise we think is good noise is actually a harmful noise in disguise. Do not seek constant flattery, but instead seek a healthy range of noises. I know one person who has proclaimed that they will only have positive noises in their life. The harm: sometimes we need a sharp noise to keep us in check. If our pride gets to big, we need a noise to remind us that life isn't just about us. If we get into things we shouldn't, we need a voice to remind us that we are better than that. At the same time, if we get down, we need a voice that will lift us up. It is all about having balance.

My challenge, reader, is to evaluate the voices in your life. See if there are some you can let go. See if there are some noises you need to thank for keeping you in check. See if you need a specific noise to enrich your life. Who knows, maybe you could be the noise someone else needs to complete their life.

Hello, my name is...

I have been give the honor of working with the youth of my church to perform a drama. We have three weeks to get it flawless and I know my kids will rise to the occasion! Last night we assigned parts, and worked through the first half of the song. Everyone is so excited!

Before we began, I had a mini-lesson on the labels we give ourselves. I asked the kids to think of one negative word they are told. I passed out "Hello, my name is" name tags and the kids wrote down their word. Some of the answers were stupid, weak, pale, misjudged, rude, and insecure. I then read 2 Corinthians 5:17

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new."

I told the kids that these words we are called are NOT true. We are not defined by what other people tell us. We are defined by who we are in Christ. If we are saved, we are not the same as we once were because God has changed us.

I handed out a new name tag and told them to write down one truth about themselves. Some of the answers were talented, funny, beautiful, crazy, a Christian, and passionate. (That last one was obviously mine.) Next, we ripped up our old name tags and replaced them with a new and better one, just like Christ makes us better when we are saved.

The kids really enjoyed hearing this message because it isn't something that is normally taught. We don't always hear the positive in our lives. We tend to focus on the negative. Even at middle and high school age, we are already deprived of hearing that we aren't stupid or ugly.

I encourage you, reader, to speak truth into the lives of those around you. This means deflecting the lies that the world tells. Let your daughter know she is beautiful. Let your son know he is strong. Let your husband know how wonderful he is. Be an encourager.

Laughing at Circumstances

I love Christmas for every reason there could possibly be! I love the closeness of my friends, family, and church. I love the sights, smells, and sensations. I love celebrating the birth of Jesus. That is also the time I begin looking forward to my birthday.

This year, Christmas is going to be quite different for me because I am unsure of what is to come. I am unsure of my physical abilities and limitations. I am unsure of the level of pain/discomfort I will be in. I am even unsure of how the Youth Christmas play will go because this is the first year I will not be fully directing it.

Yesterday the announcement was made that the moment we (my husband and I) get back from Thanksgiving holiday the Christmas decorations are going up. That includes at the school. I want everything this Christmas season to be full of joy and peace, not sympathy for me.

As I get older, I am falling more in love with winter. The smells associated with winter are so enchanting. Peppermint, vanilla, cedar and pine, not to mention all the yummy spices and baking! I was smelling my way through a Yankee Candle Co. catalog and I was wanting everything they sold associated with winter.

One terribly amusing scent was "Whiskers on Kittens" which is a part of the My Favorite Things collection, inspired by The Sound of Music. The reason why I was so tickled by the scent is what it said underneath the fragrance title: with pure, natural extracts. I laughed way too hard at that saying!

Learning to laugh no matter the situation is a talent. A very inconvenient talent. I often make jokes about my spine and people will look at me like "Oh my gosh are you twisted?" to which I reply "You should see my x-rays!" My husband and sister get to see my dark humor in action the most.

At the same time, learning to laugh at yourself is very beneficial. It makes the issues you face a little easier, and it helps your stress level. The Bible says that laughter is like a good medicine. Research shows that when you laugh, your entire body benefits! Your muscles relax, breathing is easier, your blood pressure is lowered, and it is healthy for your heart. With benefits like that, why wouldn't you want to laugh more?!

We remember this quote from the Lion King:

Well, what about laughing in the face of our circumstances? Most women I know, including myself, like to bottle everything up. We don't want our problems to be known because we would become vulnerable. We want to put up this front that we have it all together, we are Suzy Homemaker with a perfect home, family, and life. Guess what compadres, we are FAR from it! Even that girl who you are envious of is just as imperfect and ill put together as you are. She just has a prettier mask than you.

Today I have a challenge for my readers: burn the mask! Quit putting up a front that you have it all together and be honest with the people you encounter. 

If you have a weak area in your life, ask God to help you overcome it through Him. After all, God has told us that in our weakness, He is made strong.

The Source of True Confidence

Please read this post IN IT'S ENTIRETY before navigating away. Do not become angry, but try to see where I am going with this.

Confidence. We all want it and only a few possess it. But how do we obtain something so illusive? As humans, our confidence can be shattered with only a few harsh words. That's all it takes.

As a Christian, I feel it necessary to let my viewers know where I stand on this thing called  religion. I gave my heart to Jesus at a very young age and have never wavered. As you make have deduced, I am a very outspoken person and that goes double for the issues facing Christianity today and what the Bible says.

Last night the Wednesday service was about how worldly psychology has leaked in to the teaching behind the pulpit and into Christian counseling. This includes how man is not responsible for his actions, that man is in essence born "good" and is corrupted by society, and how we war with our conscience in order for us to decide what is right and wrong.

I would like to make the following points:

1. No man is born "good." We are corrupt because we are born into sin.

When we are born, we are born into a world of sin. No one is truly innocent. If that were the case then we could choose to never do bad and have no need for Jesus

2. We ARE responsible for our actions.

We were given something that no other creature was given: free will. We are the ones that make decisions. we are not controlled by God like a puppet. He chose to let us make decisions, so when we make the decision to follow him it is more meaningful. Think of it like choosing where you lived, what you were allowed to wear, and what food you could eat. If someone else made that decision for you then you wouldn't be as happy. I for one would be miserable! You cannot force love, it just happens. So does our love for Christ.

3. We war against our desire to do wrong and our knowledge of what is right.

Paul put it best when he said "The things I know not to do, I do, and the things I know to do, I do not do." We battle not for the balance between Id and the Superego, we as Christians balance our desire to sin and to please God.

Another tidbit that was in the sermon was about self-confidence. I found this particularly intriguing because of this blog. The number one thing women do is hate on ourselves. We are over critical of our body and how we behave. 

The Bible says that no man truly hates himself, and the more I thought about it the more I saw how true it is. We seek to please ourselves We want to be petted, told we are better than anyone else, and put in the spotlight (I am just as guilty as anyone else in the world). When this is unfulfilled, we call it lacking confidence.

 

Now, with all this said I would like to tell you what direction my blog will be taking form now on.

Instead of satisfying  the desire we have to feel better, I want us to focus on who we are in Christ. We should keep Him first and not focus on the World. Be satisfied in the fact that He made you a wonderful and beautiful creature, no matter what you weight or how you look. He loves you and wants you to love Him back.

Another point I would like to make is that this post is on no way to bash anyone or Christian counselors. The Bible even says that we are too seek good counsel and to lift each other up. I know how it feels to be torn down and made a fool of. I know what it is like to feel worthless and judged because of appearance. It hurts. IT also feels good to know I am not alone and that those things people tell me are in no way true.

I am here to encourage you, dear reader, and to keep you focused on what is truly important. Everyone needs a pick-me-up when they aren't feeling their best. I love encouraging others and helping them find their worth in Christ.

The fashion is also going to focus on modesty. Modest dress (not showing off your assets) is something this world has drifted away from. It hurts me that teen girls are told that to be fashionable, you MUST show off as much skin as you can. Not true! You are even more beautiful if you cover yourself appropriately.

I hope this post will not deter my readers. Please spread the word about this blog. If you wish to contact me on Facebook, I have the information listed on a previous post.

~*Beth*~