Mirrors

While I was out shopping with a friend I noticed how each mirror made me look different.

One mirror at store A was the same way I looked at home. This one was placed flat against a wall so you were looking directly at yourself.

Another mirror at store B made me look like a whale! This mirror was angled on a wall at the end of a hallway.

This of course made me very upset.

The mirror that made me look normal was at a store where primarily adults shop. The tilted mirror was at a teen store.

Teens, who are just developing body consciousness are more vulnerable and concerned with appearance. I see it as an injustice that store B have mirrors that improperly portray the customer. Especially those who are bombarded by size 0 models and the pressure to be thin.

When the thigh gap first emerged it disgusted me. Who would want to be so thin that they looked sickly? Not long after that it seemed like every photograph displayed women with thigh gaps. I mean what is the deal?! I understand if you are just a naturally thin person and have the frame befitting such, but I have also seen women strive to be that thin at any cost.

Why?

Because thin is beautiful.

Thin sells.

Guess what? It's a lie.

If you are not thin, or even close to it, you are still beautiful. I tell my middle school ladies all the time that they should not desire to be anything different than what they are.

I understand losing weight to be healthy but when you are of an aberage height and a size 5, then drop to a size 2 in a few months... you cannot convince me that is healthy.

Social media sites are all the time posting images with quotes about "nothing tastes as good as being thin feels." I get so angry at the brainwashing these sites are doing! LADIES DON'T LISTEN TO THE LIES! Be healthy and be a size 8 or higher! Heck I am a size 12 and my husband tells me he wouldn't change my bod for anything in the world.

Find those who support you a d won't tear you down just to make themselves feel better. I have had enough of people like that in my life. They do nothing but drag you down. Get rid of them. Hold fast to the people who will still see you as captivating and glorious no matter what your size.

To all of my thin readers out there, never look down on anyone because try aren't a size 2. Be kind to everyone because we are commanded to. Speak words of encouragement to your friends, don't ask them to change unless it is a matter of their wellbeing.

To all of my readers, stay happy and stay YOU!

Dress to Impress!

When it comes to fashion, I have a very intriguing past. I was never a beauty queen or an ugly Betty. I was just me. I dressed how I felt and that was good enough. When I was in college, I began caring how I dressed. I no longer wanted to be a wallflower. With a size 5 bod, I could wear whatever I wanted and it looked good. That all changed after I got married (as stated in my first post).

Dressing myself no w is much different than when I was in college. I have more curves and I desire to look more like an adult instead of a teenager. It was difficult for me to accept this because I thought adult clothing would be boring. How wrong I was!

Here are some of my rules to rock your body and still look mature.

Rule 1: Learn your body type!

Knowing what body type you have will help you learn how to flatter your figure. Here is a link to a fabulous website that will get you started:
http://www.channel4.com/4beauty/style-me/bodyshapefinder

Rule 2: Skinny jeans are acceptable. Period.

When I wear skinny jeans, I always wear something fuller on top to balance my curves. Also, do not buy skinny jeans from teen stores. They are not cut for fuller legs and are uncomfortable. My favorite skinnies are from Gap Outlet. That is the store I get almost all of my jeans from! Their style is cut more for grown up bods than teens. However, do not limit yourself to stores like that. Aeropostale surprises me with some of their pants. I do not buy denim from their but I found a pair of red trouser skinnies that I could live in!

This is a perfect example of having balance. The top is loose around the belly so it will not cling to our less flattering parts. The boots in the picture are great for fall and winter, but can be switched to cute sandals in the spring and summer or pumps to dress up the look.

Another kind of shirt that goes great with skinny jeans is the peplum style shirts. It nips your waste and covers your hips. They also have skirts and dresses in this style. All of them are wonderful for curves and gives slender figures a bit of a curvy allure. 

Rule 3: Never be afraid of color.

typically when women are fuller figured, they use dark colors to make them look slimmer. While this has an appealing effect, no woman's wardrobe should lack color. If you like darker colors on you, try using bright accents to liven up your look. A colored scarf or beaded necklace can brighten up any outfit!

The bright pop of the yellow shirt makes this outfit a wonderful example! Even though the jacket and pants are darker, the shirt gives it a little something extra. The scarf and bag add in more color.

Rule 4: When wearing short dresses or skirts, tights/leggings are your best friends

You know that dress you didn't buy because it came above you knees? Well, you still could have rocked it! Most people categorize tights in with their itchy cousins, pantyhose. NO! Tights, when bought in the correct size and material, are a basic no female should live without! Tights come in various length, colors, and opacity. I like to buy leggings, the slightly heavier cotton blend cousin of tights.

Because of the length of this dress I would have passed it by in a store. Now that I see it paired with tights I want to find it and make it mine!

Rule 5: LAYER, LAYER, LAYER!!!

One of my obsessions is cardigans. I own a cardigan in almost every color. Why? Because they hide my arms and slim me. Plus it is a fun way to add color to my outfits.

Why don't you just exercise?!

By now, people are wondering why I don't just go to the gym and work out like everybody else. There's just one problem with that and it looks like this....

Yep, that's my spine in all of its metallic glory. I have scoliosis - a condition where your spine curves and is weakened. I had the surgery three years ago and I have had a great deal of complications from it, including temporary loss of feeling and use of my right leg. See the bottom right screw in the picture? Well that little beauty cut part of my major nerves and had to be removed. I also have a fracturing vertebrae that will be operated on this December to prevent more damage.

Currently the only exercise I can do is to bike on a stationary bike, use an elliptical, or swim. All of these are great, but not if you want to tone your body. I am very limited in my mobility and endurance. It is sad to say but there isn't a day that goes by without pain. I regret having the surgery and wish the rods can be removed, but that would mean at least three months in bed with six months to a year before I am fully recovered.

The number one thing that drives me crazy is my hollow back. If you have hollow back (or swayback), your spine curves towards your stomach and causes an awful pooch that no exercise can get rid of. My December surgery will hopefully remedy this. My spine is breaking because of the pressure brought on by my hollow back. I cannot stand up straight without feeling a great deal of pain. My surgeon is going to shrink my breaking vertebrae in order to allow for more room and movement in my spine that isn't surrounded by the rods and fused together. After this, I will have much less of a belly pooch and should be able to finally exercise without pain.

For all those dealing with scoliosis, just know that you are never alone. For those who have chronic pain, it isn't in your head (like so many would say). For those who are blessed with a healthy body and can swim face down, consider yourself eternally blessed. I would never wish this life on anyone, but God made me strong enough to live it.

A bonus to my scoliosis is I can say I have more curves than I know what to do with and laugh about it.

Pet Peeves

My list of pet peeves are quite to the point.

• Slow drivers when I'm late
• Wonderfully entertaining book series that are longer than four books (because of pricing)
• People who think I am of less value because of my weight

When people criticize me for gaining weight like I did, I just smile and think to myself

When someone tells me I need to lose weight so I would look more appealing, it makes my blood boil. Plain and simple, my beauty is not for anyone to judge except those I love the most. My husband reminds me constantly that just because I don't look like I used to his love for me is not lessened. He finds me appealing in every way imaginable.

Finding confidence in yourself means letting go of the opinions around you. They may hurt and you may not be able to let them slide off as easily, but know that is because you are a human being with real feelings. I am a prime example of not being able to let go easily, but as soon as I do I always feel better.

Like most women, I want to please people. When I started gaining weight, I faced rebuff from all corners of my social circles, except my husband. I would ask him if he still thought I was beautiful. He would look at me with the sweetest face and say "Yes, you are still beautiful and always will be." For my readers who have been married for several years, you may be gagging at this point but think about this: how much have you longed to hear that from someone? To give you affirmation that you are beautiful despite society's size zero mentality. But I have news for you...

Imagine a beautiful work of art, a picturesque sunset, or a moving scene from your favorite film. Why do those stand out? Because they are different, unique. We are all different and unique, with bodies of all shapes and sizes. Does not having a certain body shape make us any less valuable or beautiful? No. It makes us extraordinary. The next time you are feeling down, remember that you are beautiful for being anything but ordinary.

~*Beth*~

My story: I got married... and I got fat.

Marriage was the single greatest thing (other than salvation) that has ever happened to me. I had found the one person that God created just for me, and I for him. All my life I had dreamed of this milestone. The only problem: I had one more semester of college left.

This semester was going to be the hardest one of my college career. I would be an unpaid student teacher working at a school that will remain nameless under a teacher who will also remain nameless. This teacher was by far the most abusive (verbally and psychologically) person I have ever encountered. I sunk into a depression that lasted well past my time at this dreadful school and I began to put on the pounds. Because of her, I had to repeat student teaching, resulting in another semester of being unpaid.

Over Christmas break I was a ball of anxiety because of bills, an unknown school, and my increasing weight. My new school was heaven on earth! I was working with a teacher that I will forever admire and at a school I wish every child could attend. Before this school I had a terrible flavor in my mouth for public education, but when I left I knew that not all public schools were bad.

During all of this I gained 4 dress sizes and for the first time in my life I was in double digit sizes. this took a huge toll on my self-esteem. I became self-loathing and contributed to my depression. Also, my husband and I were eating a terribly unhealthy diet and were always on the go. I wanted to change. I wanted to fight my genetics and be skinny, but no amount of wishing could change the fact that I was a size 12.

One day while searching Pinterest, I was looking at how frail the girls were in the fashion pins. Thigh gaps, no curves, and sunken faces were in every picture. I was once that thin. I once looked good in everything I put on. I once could eat anything I wanted and not gain an ounce. My mother warned me of this day.

Then I began asking myself why. Why was this the standard of beauty? Why am I supposed to desire to be those thin little girls? Why can't my size be acceptable in the fashion world without being labeled "plus size"? Enough was enough! I snapped out of my self-loathing and started an inspiration board full of pin-up girls and quotes about loving your body. I AM beautiful, no matter what designers say!

This blog is dedicated to all of those (like me) who are accepting of their body, no matter what size they are. Women today are too self conscious about their bodies and need to be happy with the way God created them. This blog is meant to build up women and not tell them to gain/lose weight. I do encourage my readers to make sure they are healthy in their weight and lifestyle. Health is more important than being skinny or curvy.

In this blog, I will be sharing fashion, food, healthy living tips, as well as my own progress to live a healthier lifestyle. I am an advocate for curvy women so the fashion will be more focused on how to dress your curves appropriately, as well as trends and my fashion outlook. I will also be sharing some of my artistic talents and teaching tips. I hope you enjoy this blog.

~*Beth*~