I'm Back!

After a long three weeks, I am back and better than ever... almost. My back surgery went well and I have had a very minor complication. Apparently I am allergic to certain pain medications. The only thing I am dealing with now is the damaged nerves coming back to life, which will heal in time. After all, my body has three years of damage to fix.

During this time, I had to use aids for walking and getting around. I was issued a walker for at home, and a wheelchair for going out in public. At home, I would sit in the wheelchair because it was the only thing that I was comfortable in. Outside the house, I would use it in stores, restaurants, and other places to keep myself from exhausting and overworking my already tired body.

I have a dear friend who has gone through similar health issues and uses a wheelchair all the time. Even though I only used mine for a few weeks, it gave me a glimpse into her life that I never had before.

What bothered me the most from the experience was the response from society. Never in my life have I gotten looks like I did. It was all pity and fake smiles because someone as "young" as myself was in a wheelchair. I also realized that most stores are NOT friendly to people in my situation. There were some stores I couldn't even get into because of the closeness of the racks. The height of the clothing on the shelves also made it difficult to shop. I was constantly bypassing items because I couldn't get a clear view of them. Store staff were not the least bit helpful, even in stores that I frequent, the clerks were passing me by.

If stores wanted to improve, I would suggest starting with the layout and considering those who cannot reach high to pull down a sweater, or even get through the store. I would also say to train the staff to be more willing to help when they see a need.

In other news, my staples came out Tuesday and I am more like myself than ever. I am no longer relying on my walking aids and am back at school teaching. One great benefit to this surgery was weight loss. I have gone from 183 lbs to 169 lbs in a month! I am very happy for this news. Now I have to lose at least four more pounds and I will be within my BMI. As soon as the doctor clears me for exercise, I am going to begin kettleball and resistance band exercises to help strengthen and tone my body. I do not want to lose too much weight, but I do want to be at a healthy weight and still have killer curves! Also, my family invited Kevin and I on vacation with them, and I definitely want to be able to wear a bikini and look as good as a Kardashian or model Katie Green!

As I go through this transition, I will be posting scoliosis and joint friendly exercises to help those (like me) who want low impact exercises.

Lovely Legs

This picture made me giggle. It also has inspired today's post!

Way back in the day of your grandmother, curves were highly valued in America. They were a sign of sex appeal. They were a sign of health. They were what men desired.

Women back in the day looked more like this:

Notice her lower half. Large, meaty thighs, a firm tush, and killer calves! This was an ideal woman in the 50's. Her tummy was small, and her hips were full.

For contrast, let us look at an ideal woman model today:

Notice her overall thinness. Thin legs, arms, middle, and face. This is the image given to our country f how a woman should look.

I just have one question....

Ladies, love your body for what it is. Don't strive to be something different because it is what people say you should look like. If you are healthy, then who cares? So go ahead, bare those non touching legs!

Growing Apathetic

As I am searching for who I am, there are things I am finding that have lost my interest.

Heaven forbid that a fashionista like myself ever lose interest in clothing... but I have. The last time I went shopping, I was disappointed in the selection of clothing the stores had to offer. Call it a sign of maturity, but I have all but given up on looking like I just stepped out of a magazine. Clothing nowadays is so short, tight, and geared towards Twiggy looking kids that I have no use for it anymore. When I was a size 8, fashion seemed to come naturally... and that was just two years ago! I could walk in to any store and grab my size and look good in it. If I were to do that now, I would end up buying maybe one thing: a pair of shoes or jewelry. My size may be larger, but my body shape is the same (if that makes any sense).

Here I am at a size 8 and unwed. Still curvy through the hips and no thigh gap. A juicy pear shape.

This is what I want to be like again.

Talking to my husband about my weight, I asked him what his ideal body type was for women. He said confidence and I immediately thought "oh you liar."

Is anyone else having this battle? Wanting to please their husband, but he gives you answers like mine did?

Ugh.

With my growing apathy towards fashion, I realize that even if I wasn't a size 12, I would have less of a desire to dress like I used to. I don't want to impress anyone and I certainly don't want attention from any male other than my husband. With this, I am choosing clothes that are modest, mature, and professional. I am still in blue jeans every single day, but I am not casual like my sister who wears tennis shoes and tee shirts. I couldn't be that casual.

Anyone with advice or that can encourage the one who is supposed to be the encourager, please comment or message me. I could really use it.

What Singles Need to Know About Marriage

Single friends. We all have them.

For people like me who got married right out of college, you probably have more single friends than married friends. Looking back on my single life, I can see why my mom would laugh about my unrealistic expectations of my future marriage. I now see those same ideals in my single friends. There are times where I want to roll on the floor laughing at them, but instead I just think to myself "You are in for a RUDE awakening!"

For all my single friends out there, these are my top 5 for what to expect in a normal marriage:

1. You will fight. A lot.

The first really big fight I had with my husband felt like the end of the world. I cried harder than when I had to put down my first horse. But once we had cooled down and apologized, we were just as happy as before. When I was single, I thought my husband and I would never fight because we are just ever so perfectly perfect for each other. WRONG! When you fight, never unleash your full fury. Fight in such a way that shows your Christian character. Don't stream out words that you have no business saying. Don't 

2. Whatever expectations you have of marriage... yeah, get rid of those.

Don't ever, Ever, EVER think this...

Your husband will do a lot of things that won't meet your expectations. Get over it! Do not under any circumstances "turn around" just because he doesn't do what you think he will. Husbands are human with free will. We cannot control their emotions and thoughts. My husband didn't cry when he saw me. Does that make him love me any less? Not at all!

3. Prince Charming is imperfect, too!

Women everywhere know that men mess up. Men know that women are just as guilty. Instead of wishing that your husband was more like a fictional character, learn to love him through his flaws. Patience is the key!

4. The Romance WILL fade, but that's OK!

It's a sad fact. The spark you have for each other will not always be there. A fire does not burn forever. Honestly, all this garb about dating to keep the flame alive is a load. If you are married, YOU'RE MARRIED, not dating. You are on a higher plane than couples who are dating. Be secure and satisfied in knowing that you have a spouse.

5. You are no longer your own.

The Bible speaks very clearly on how husbands and wives should treat each other. This includes submitting to your spouse. We often read "wives submit yourselves to your husband" and stop there. Guess what men, you also have a role: treat your wife as something valuable and precious. You should cherish her. This includes fulfilling her wishes. If she asks you to do something, treat her how you would want to be treated (also a Biblical truth). Ladies, this does not mean your husbands are your menservants! If they ask something of you, do it! This includes when they say no to that gorgeous purse you just have to have. Treating each other with respect will blossom your marriage!

Married people, use these tips to help your own marriage. Singles, you have been warned!

~*Beth*~

Pet Peeves

My list of pet peeves are quite to the point.

• Slow drivers when I'm late
• Wonderfully entertaining book series that are longer than four books (because of pricing)
• People who think I am of less value because of my weight

When people criticize me for gaining weight like I did, I just smile and think to myself

When someone tells me I need to lose weight so I would look more appealing, it makes my blood boil. Plain and simple, my beauty is not for anyone to judge except those I love the most. My husband reminds me constantly that just because I don't look like I used to his love for me is not lessened. He finds me appealing in every way imaginable.

Finding confidence in yourself means letting go of the opinions around you. They may hurt and you may not be able to let them slide off as easily, but know that is because you are a human being with real feelings. I am a prime example of not being able to let go easily, but as soon as I do I always feel better.

Like most women, I want to please people. When I started gaining weight, I faced rebuff from all corners of my social circles, except my husband. I would ask him if he still thought I was beautiful. He would look at me with the sweetest face and say "Yes, you are still beautiful and always will be." For my readers who have been married for several years, you may be gagging at this point but think about this: how much have you longed to hear that from someone? To give you affirmation that you are beautiful despite society's size zero mentality. But I have news for you...

Imagine a beautiful work of art, a picturesque sunset, or a moving scene from your favorite film. Why do those stand out? Because they are different, unique. We are all different and unique, with bodies of all shapes and sizes. Does not having a certain body shape make us any less valuable or beautiful? No. It makes us extraordinary. The next time you are feeling down, remember that you are beautiful for being anything but ordinary.

~*Beth*~