I'm NOT a Hanger!

Recently, I saw a picture depicting the different types of body. The first one was labeled "normal" and had non-touching legs, flat tummy, and small chest. The next one was "chubby" and depicted a not-so-flat middle, touching legs, and a larger chest. It went on and on until the person was unhumanly large. The entire post made me quite upset, naturally.

To label something normal means there has to be a norm to begin with. We would say that it is normal for someone to have all the appropriate body parts. We would consider it abnormal if someone was born without arms or legs (but we love them nonetheless). We consider it abnormal for a parent to hate their child, because parents love their children. To say that a certain body type is normal shows a narrow-minded view of the diversity of the world. It is no less insulting to say that a certain skin color is normal and all others are abnormal and should be changed. Why should we give a pass to someone who thinks everyone should be skinny?

I have come to the conclusion that the reason they use skinny models is because they are not powerful enough to take on the clothing they wear. I saw a plus size swimsuit model recently who was so beautiful that I didn't notice her swimsuit at all. I could only focus on how radiant she was. She oozed confidence! The swimsuit didn't own her, she owned the swimsuit! It was no longer about the clothing, it was about the person. On the show "Ugly Betty" one of the main characters said "Designers only want to put their clothes on skinny hangers" and it is true. Nobody noticed the hanger, they notice the clothing. I don't want to be a hanger!

Today, I was talking to my students about the importance of being happy with who you are. I told them that there is no such thing as a normal body because God made us all different. I also shared a truth that was told to me by one of the wisest men I have known: the late Preacher Burdette, the pastor who started the church I attend. When I was coming into my teen years, I tried so hard to fit in. He noticed this and said to me "When you try to change yourself or cover up who you really are, it's like you're telling God 'Thanks but I don't like what you'e created'. So be happy with yourself." Even though it was forever ago, that advice remains with me, and I was happy to pass wisdom on to my students.

Now, I make a vow. I will be happy with myself and who God created me to be. Thick, thin, tall, or short, I am just who God wants me to be and I will be thankful that He created me that way.

I'm Back!

After a long three weeks, I am back and better than ever... almost. My back surgery went well and I have had a very minor complication. Apparently I am allergic to certain pain medications. The only thing I am dealing with now is the damaged nerves coming back to life, which will heal in time. After all, my body has three years of damage to fix.

During this time, I had to use aids for walking and getting around. I was issued a walker for at home, and a wheelchair for going out in public. At home, I would sit in the wheelchair because it was the only thing that I was comfortable in. Outside the house, I would use it in stores, restaurants, and other places to keep myself from exhausting and overworking my already tired body.

I have a dear friend who has gone through similar health issues and uses a wheelchair all the time. Even though I only used mine for a few weeks, it gave me a glimpse into her life that I never had before.

What bothered me the most from the experience was the response from society. Never in my life have I gotten looks like I did. It was all pity and fake smiles because someone as "young" as myself was in a wheelchair. I also realized that most stores are NOT friendly to people in my situation. There were some stores I couldn't even get into because of the closeness of the racks. The height of the clothing on the shelves also made it difficult to shop. I was constantly bypassing items because I couldn't get a clear view of them. Store staff were not the least bit helpful, even in stores that I frequent, the clerks were passing me by.

If stores wanted to improve, I would suggest starting with the layout and considering those who cannot reach high to pull down a sweater, or even get through the store. I would also say to train the staff to be more willing to help when they see a need.

In other news, my staples came out Tuesday and I am more like myself than ever. I am no longer relying on my walking aids and am back at school teaching. One great benefit to this surgery was weight loss. I have gone from 183 lbs to 169 lbs in a month! I am very happy for this news. Now I have to lose at least four more pounds and I will be within my BMI. As soon as the doctor clears me for exercise, I am going to begin kettleball and resistance band exercises to help strengthen and tone my body. I do not want to lose too much weight, but I do want to be at a healthy weight and still have killer curves! Also, my family invited Kevin and I on vacation with them, and I definitely want to be able to wear a bikini and look as good as a Kardashian or model Katie Green!

As I go through this transition, I will be posting scoliosis and joint friendly exercises to help those (like me) who want low impact exercises.

Decay (WARNING: CONTAINS OFFENSIVE MATERIAL)

For some reason, God is wanting me to write a novel. I told this to my husband yesterday as I was filling up yet another page of notes. Provoked by three messages I heard yesterday, this post comes with a warming label. It is offensive. It is cold. It will make most people mad, but then again so did Jesus. Why do you think they wanted to crucify him?

I do not apologize for what I am about to write, but don't say I didn't warn you about the hard truth you will find in this post.

Today's topic is the decay of a once moral society we call America.

50 years ago, it seemed like everyone went to church. Why? Because the Bible says to do so. Children respected their parents because God told them to in the Bible. Women were much more modest and respected the authority of their husbands because they wanted to please God. Everything in America was directed back to God.

"Well that's not what the TV says."

I asked my grandmother, who witnessed firsthand the respect Americans had for Jesus and His church. Yes this time period had their evils, but it was nothing compared to today.

"Where has all this so called evil come from and who gives you the right to call it that? After all, your life is defined by you and not what some old book says."

On the contrary, this book - the breathed and divinely inspired word of God - has clearly defined what is right and wrong according to God Himself. He was the one who told the recorders of His word what to write. He was the one who guided the canonization of the Bible.

In the beginning of the Bible is the story of Creation, and the Garden of Eden. This garden was magnificent. It was so perfect, in fact, that the name Eden has come to be a label in which we give to any place that is beautiful and perfect. Within this garden, Adam and Eve were free to do whatever they wanted except one thing: not to eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. They had one job to do... and they failed. It was because of their desire to become equal to God, they each ate the fruit and condemned the entire world.

The consequences of that decision and the desire to be equal to God are forever ingrained in the DNA of humanity. Ever since The Fall, mankind strives for one thing and one thing alone: to feed their selfishness. We always want more. We always want to put ourselves over everyone else. We focus on on our failures and our needs and our wants before we would ever consider another person's. We are selfish human beings.

Why do you think babies cry? It certainly isn't because they are happy. We are brought into this world with selfish desires! How then could we ever say that a baby is innocent when it would choose its own happiness over yours. It wakes up in the middle of the night screaming because it wants its needs fulfilled. "Forget sleep, mom, come feed me!"

Can you imagine never making a bad decision? That would be great! Well, that is how Adam and Eve lived. They didn't know about bad choices so they never made any. They only knew good. I have always thought that the name of the tree in Eden was very fitting. The moment Adam and Eve ate of the tree, they knew of evil for the first time.

Because we have now obtained the knowledge of good and evil, we now have the ability to manipulate what is considered good and evil. We have perverted the definition of good so that we can yet again fulfill our selfish desires and hold no accountability for our actions. We have blurred the line between the two, and in doing so we have created three poisons to a moral society: relativism, humanism, and tolerance.

Relativism is one of the most prominent poisons of young adults. In college, I saw relativism at it's finest. Even on a Christian campus, I had so many people tell me that my beliefs may be fine for me, but it isn't something they choose to believe in. Like it would make a difference! Choosing not to believe something is a terrible choice to make. I could choose not to believe that if I drive 100 miles per hour through town in front of a police officer, I won't get pulled over. Whoever tries that, let me know how it turns out for you.

Choosing not to believe in what God's word says, especially if it has been read to you, is the same as saying you choose not to believe in the law of gravity or that the police won't pull you over for breaking the law. One of my favorite things to tell people who say they like to choose what you believe is this: God is not a buffet. You can't pick what you want and leave the rest.

Another poison to a moral society is humanism. The dictionary.com definition is:

an outlook or system of thought attaching prime importance to human rather than divine or supernatural matters. Humanist beliefs stress the potential value and goodness of human beings, emphasize common human needs, and seek solely rational ways of solving human problems

Hmmm. This sounds familiar. Again, I would like to direct your attention to the story of Adam and Eve. What was it that the serpent said to Eve? Oh yeah! If you eat of the tree then you will be equal with God. The serpent not only appealed to Eve with the potential to be her own god, but also placed doubt about God and His rule. "Did God really say that?"

This right here, ladies and gentleman, is the start of Humanism.

You are your own god. You make your own decisions about what right and wrong is. After all, you now have the knowledge. Who needs some spiritual being telling you what to do?

Another point Humanism makes is the focus of the goodness and potential of humans. Remember that baby I mentioned? I'm pretty sure that selfishness is not a trait I would consider good.

When dealing with someone who thinks their goodness is enough, ask them have they ever hated someone. Have they stolen? Have they lied? Have they ever lusted? If they say yes to those then remind them that they are a hating, lusting, lying thief. How could that be considered good?

The last poison that I will discuss is tolerance. Tolerance is the acceptance of any lifestyle or belief that you do not always agree with, but you coexist with. I think of tolerance as being like a glass box. You can see what is going on in the life of the person, but because we are supposed to be tolerant, we cannot touch them.

Now aren't we supposed to be tolerant? I mean, not everyone is supposed to agree with everything. That may be true, but by saying that you are surrendering to that lifestyle of belief. The Bible says that we are constantly at war on a spiritual battlefield. Tolerance is the white flag. When Christians declare tolerance, they are surrendering to whatever they are fighting against.

If you have made it this far into the post, then I congratulate you and thank you for your time. All the points I have made are hard to swallow, but if you will open your heart to them, you will see that this society has injected moral poison and has now decayed into a self-loving, self-worshiping society. America is no longer the superpower it was due to relativism, humanism, and tolerance. It accepts anything that comes down the pipe.

Except for one thing.

Jesus.

If American Christians can repent of their selfish ways and come back to God, this country could see a revival that would change the course of history. But until that day comes, we will continue to deteriorate into the shadow of what we once were.

Wake up, America. Wake up, and pray.

Gypsy Life

Since I do not have cable or satellite, I have to make due with Netflix. recently I have been enthralled with "My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding" and I must say that some of their morals and expectations are awesome!

The views I find most appealing are that women must be virgins to be married, they are raised to be housewives, and their emphasis on family is incredible! I was a virgin bride so I know how hard it is in a sexually driven world to be a virgin. Gypsy's do not allow kissing, where it was fine for me to kiss. I was happy for that because when I kissed Kevin, my now-husband, for the first time I knew I would marry him.

Raising daughters to be housewives is an excellent skill I wish I had learned, and definitely one I want to teach to my daughter(s). When I got married, I didn't have a clue of how to keep a clean house! I am still working on making cleaning a habit, but it is difficult to break 23+years of habit.

Family is something very important to me, and seeing the emphasis the family from the show put on making each child out to be the most special and important. That mentality is wonderful for their confidence! A parent that makes their child feel special creates a positive bond and affirms love to the child in a unique way.

I would say the only things I don't particularly enjoy about the Gypsy culture is the drinking and letting the men do whatever they please. I am not a fan of drinking period so of course I would see fault with that. However, letting the men do whatever they please (right or wrong) is not good. Not having accountability for ANY gender, race, or group of people is wrong. It lets in bad habits that have the potential to ruin lives.

One part I am undecided on is the way the women dress. I grew up in a house where modesty is emphasized so it was very foreign to see young teenagers dress in minimal clothes. I know, however, that it is their culture to dress that way, just like it is for them to dance the way they do. Again, I was brought up where dancing like that was a sin because it evoked lust. In their culture, where girls marry at a very young age and are not allowed to really be around boys, I can see where dancing like that is justifiable. It is a form of courtship. Much like courtship dances in birds of paradise, Gypsy women show off their dance moves to attract a husband.

Learning about the Gypsy and Traveler lifestyle has really opened my eyes to their world. It is really a fascinating culture and I have greatly benefited from this glimpse into their world. I would love to know more.

Designed

My mom shared this video today and it disgusted me. It shows how models are made to look like a model. We think that the woman above has makeup, maybe a wig, and great lighting right? Watch it and see.

In the US, the estimated population of women in 2012 was a little over 50%. Glamour magazine says that approximately 97% of women will be cruel to their body. This can include anything from having cruel thoughts to eating disorders.

As much as I have talked about women having distorted views of beauty, I have never addressed men and their views of women. Most women would say that men are pigs. They only have one thing on their minds, and you know what, it's true! That's how men are designed to think so let's give them a break! They are designed by God to work to "bring home the bacon" and reproduce. That's what they are! They are driven by a woman's beauty because that's how they are wired. Each male is also wired to have a different standard of beauty for his spouse. My husband loves my curves, brown hair, and pale skin. Other men would prefer thin redheads, busty and tan blondes, or an African goddess (not trying to be racist or stereotypical in any way). In this case I can truly say to each, his own. Just like we have a favorite color or dessert, men have a favorite type of woman.

Women are designed for nurturing and providing care of their offspring, and making a house into a home. The president's wife of my college said that her favorite time of the school year was when the girls moved into the dorms. She would always walk around to see how they took the small rooms and made them into a beautiful and cozy miniature home. We all have our own unique kind of beauty that makes us desirable to our husbands. After all, that's why they picked us and not someone else. It is finding that beauty (even through the extra 15 pounds or grey hair) and realizing that we are still the same. I am still the same quirky, outspoken Disney-loving teacher I was when I married my husband, despite my weight.

My challenge to you, reader, is to find that beauty within and set her free. She may not be a magazine-worthy model like the girl at the end of the video, but think about the girl at the beginning. She is just as beautiful as the girl she is photographed as, maybe even more beautiful because she is REAL. Be real. Be you.

Hello, my name is...

I have been give the honor of working with the youth of my church to perform a drama. We have three weeks to get it flawless and I know my kids will rise to the occasion! Last night we assigned parts, and worked through the first half of the song. Everyone is so excited!

Before we began, I had a mini-lesson on the labels we give ourselves. I asked the kids to think of one negative word they are told. I passed out "Hello, my name is" name tags and the kids wrote down their word. Some of the answers were stupid, weak, pale, misjudged, rude, and insecure. I then read 2 Corinthians 5:17

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new."

I told the kids that these words we are called are NOT true. We are not defined by what other people tell us. We are defined by who we are in Christ. If we are saved, we are not the same as we once were because God has changed us.

I handed out a new name tag and told them to write down one truth about themselves. Some of the answers were talented, funny, beautiful, crazy, a Christian, and passionate. (That last one was obviously mine.) Next, we ripped up our old name tags and replaced them with a new and better one, just like Christ makes us better when we are saved.

The kids really enjoyed hearing this message because it isn't something that is normally taught. We don't always hear the positive in our lives. We tend to focus on the negative. Even at middle and high school age, we are already deprived of hearing that we aren't stupid or ugly.

I encourage you, reader, to speak truth into the lives of those around you. This means deflecting the lies that the world tells. Let your daughter know she is beautiful. Let your son know he is strong. Let your husband know how wonderful he is. Be an encourager.

Pet Peeves

My list of pet peeves are quite to the point.

• Slow drivers when I'm late
• Wonderfully entertaining book series that are longer than four books (because of pricing)
• People who think I am of less value because of my weight

When people criticize me for gaining weight like I did, I just smile and think to myself

When someone tells me I need to lose weight so I would look more appealing, it makes my blood boil. Plain and simple, my beauty is not for anyone to judge except those I love the most. My husband reminds me constantly that just because I don't look like I used to his love for me is not lessened. He finds me appealing in every way imaginable.

Finding confidence in yourself means letting go of the opinions around you. They may hurt and you may not be able to let them slide off as easily, but know that is because you are a human being with real feelings. I am a prime example of not being able to let go easily, but as soon as I do I always feel better.

Like most women, I want to please people. When I started gaining weight, I faced rebuff from all corners of my social circles, except my husband. I would ask him if he still thought I was beautiful. He would look at me with the sweetest face and say "Yes, you are still beautiful and always will be." For my readers who have been married for several years, you may be gagging at this point but think about this: how much have you longed to hear that from someone? To give you affirmation that you are beautiful despite society's size zero mentality. But I have news for you...

Imagine a beautiful work of art, a picturesque sunset, or a moving scene from your favorite film. Why do those stand out? Because they are different, unique. We are all different and unique, with bodies of all shapes and sizes. Does not having a certain body shape make us any less valuable or beautiful? No. It makes us extraordinary. The next time you are feeling down, remember that you are beautiful for being anything but ordinary.

~*Beth*~