I'm NOT a Hanger!

Recently, I saw a picture depicting the different types of body. The first one was labeled "normal" and had non-touching legs, flat tummy, and small chest. The next one was "chubby" and depicted a not-so-flat middle, touching legs, and a larger chest. It went on and on until the person was unhumanly large. The entire post made me quite upset, naturally.

To label something normal means there has to be a norm to begin with. We would say that it is normal for someone to have all the appropriate body parts. We would consider it abnormal if someone was born without arms or legs (but we love them nonetheless). We consider it abnormal for a parent to hate their child, because parents love their children. To say that a certain body type is normal shows a narrow-minded view of the diversity of the world. It is no less insulting to say that a certain skin color is normal and all others are abnormal and should be changed. Why should we give a pass to someone who thinks everyone should be skinny?

I have come to the conclusion that the reason they use skinny models is because they are not powerful enough to take on the clothing they wear. I saw a plus size swimsuit model recently who was so beautiful that I didn't notice her swimsuit at all. I could only focus on how radiant she was. She oozed confidence! The swimsuit didn't own her, she owned the swimsuit! It was no longer about the clothing, it was about the person. On the show "Ugly Betty" one of the main characters said "Designers only want to put their clothes on skinny hangers" and it is true. Nobody noticed the hanger, they notice the clothing. I don't want to be a hanger!

Today, I was talking to my students about the importance of being happy with who you are. I told them that there is no such thing as a normal body because God made us all different. I also shared a truth that was told to me by one of the wisest men I have known: the late Preacher Burdette, the pastor who started the church I attend. When I was coming into my teen years, I tried so hard to fit in. He noticed this and said to me "When you try to change yourself or cover up who you really are, it's like you're telling God 'Thanks but I don't like what you'e created'. So be happy with yourself." Even though it was forever ago, that advice remains with me, and I was happy to pass wisdom on to my students.

Now, I make a vow. I will be happy with myself and who God created me to be. Thick, thin, tall, or short, I am just who God wants me to be and I will be thankful that He created me that way.

Seasonal Color Analysis: True Summer (a correction to my first post)

If you read my first seasonal color analysis post, I would like to apologize because it was inaccurate. After researching, I am here to announce that I am NOT a dark winter as I previously stated. In fact, I am a cool (or true) summer. I have the high contrast between my skin and my eyes, however, I am not suited for the deep colors.

To see what I mean, click HERE to see examples of True Summers. Even though summers are typically thought of as blondes with fair skin. However, this is not so. You will see examples of so many women who do not fit within that stereotype.

The color palette of a True Summer is cool and muted. Here are two examples:



This is a more detailed palette including more of the colors.




Discovering that I was a True Summer has been a very exciting experience. I can also see where I was confused on my season. Winter shades are very similar to the shades above, but have a greater depth to them. I often felt smothered with some of the colors from the Dark Winter palette, but with the Summer shades, I feel more natural.

Here are some shots of me (old and new) in True Summer colors. Note that the background colors in the last two images are also from the palette.

Some of my most worn colors from this palette are navy, dusty lavender, turquoise, and cool red.

Makeup for True Summers are seen on this chart, although cool red can be added for lips.

The most prominent colors here are taupe, beige, raspberry, and dusty blue. These colors compliment your skin's coolness.

I am very pleased with finding my true colors and I encourage you to do the same. Finding what colors suit you best is the key to looking and feeling your best.

Marriage Isn't For You

This article showed up on a Facebook page of a friend of mine who had recently been married. This concerned me at first until I read the comments. I am here to say that marriage isn't for me. Read the article and see why:

http://sethadamsmith.com/2013/11/02/marriage-isnt-for-you/

Designed

My mom shared this video today and it disgusted me. It shows how models are made to look like a model. We think that the woman above has makeup, maybe a wig, and great lighting right? Watch it and see.

In the US, the estimated population of women in 2012 was a little over 50%. Glamour magazine says that approximately 97% of women will be cruel to their body. This can include anything from having cruel thoughts to eating disorders.

As much as I have talked about women having distorted views of beauty, I have never addressed men and their views of women. Most women would say that men are pigs. They only have one thing on their minds, and you know what, it's true! That's how men are designed to think so let's give them a break! They are designed by God to work to "bring home the bacon" and reproduce. That's what they are! They are driven by a woman's beauty because that's how they are wired. Each male is also wired to have a different standard of beauty for his spouse. My husband loves my curves, brown hair, and pale skin. Other men would prefer thin redheads, busty and tan blondes, or an African goddess (not trying to be racist or stereotypical in any way). In this case I can truly say to each, his own. Just like we have a favorite color or dessert, men have a favorite type of woman.

Women are designed for nurturing and providing care of their offspring, and making a house into a home. The president's wife of my college said that her favorite time of the school year was when the girls moved into the dorms. She would always walk around to see how they took the small rooms and made them into a beautiful and cozy miniature home. We all have our own unique kind of beauty that makes us desirable to our husbands. After all, that's why they picked us and not someone else. It is finding that beauty (even through the extra 15 pounds or grey hair) and realizing that we are still the same. I am still the same quirky, outspoken Disney-loving teacher I was when I married my husband, despite my weight.

My challenge to you, reader, is to find that beauty within and set her free. She may not be a magazine-worthy model like the girl at the end of the video, but think about the girl at the beginning. She is just as beautiful as the girl she is photographed as, maybe even more beautiful because she is REAL. Be real. Be you.

Lovely Legs

This picture made me giggle. It also has inspired today's post!

Way back in the day of your grandmother, curves were highly valued in America. They were a sign of sex appeal. They were a sign of health. They were what men desired.

Women back in the day looked more like this:

Notice her lower half. Large, meaty thighs, a firm tush, and killer calves! This was an ideal woman in the 50's. Her tummy was small, and her hips were full.

For contrast, let us look at an ideal woman model today:

Notice her overall thinness. Thin legs, arms, middle, and face. This is the image given to our country f how a woman should look.

I just have one question....

Ladies, love your body for what it is. Don't strive to be something different because it is what people say you should look like. If you are healthy, then who cares? So go ahead, bare those non touching legs!

Revival

After posting about how I am growing apathetic to fashion, I believe someone prayed that I would get my spunk back. Well, after surfing Pinterest and visiting my "Inspiration" board, I have got my pep back!

Today, I am going to show three looks for curvy ladies that earn major brownie points!



While this look is modest, I just love it! The print, the color, it is all fabulous! Great for the office or classroom, this look is timeless.

This look is perfect for fall:



Boots, tights, a warm oversized cardigan, AND a mini dress? Wow! This girl has got it going on!


This next look is more for spring, but the colors can be changed to suit whatever season you are in.



I just LOVE it! Pairing a denim jacket with a dress makes the outfit suitable for more casual occasions, or for date night when paired with cute heels.

While I have been in a fashion rut, I am trying to revive my closet. With my fashion taste changing, I have gotten rid of a great deal of my clothes. Consequently, this has left me with the things I could not bear to part with, and the few options I have left are, quite frankly, bland. Being married and having to share income AND debt has left me with very little room for shopping. Hopefully soon, I will be able to fill my closet with beautiful clothes again. *sigh*

Facts About the South: How to Dress

Since I haven't posted about clothing lately, I thought today would be a great chance.

In Georgia, fall does not always mean cool days, beautiful leaves, and bonfires. If you were to have a bonfire in October, you would have to wear bug spray. In the south, we have different seasons: almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas. We consider winter as December to February because it is normally the only time the temperature is actually below or right at 45 degrees.

Due to this season when the leaves are still on the trees and it is cool enough to wear something other than a tank top, our fall fashion is different than the rest of the nation. Typical ensembles you would see are:

               

    

Clothes in the South don't just say a lot about you, they also tell your history. If you dress like these girls in the last picture, people will say you are a "Yank" (slang for Yankee, generally meaning someone not from the South) or you live in the city. Southerners from the city are NOT your typical Southerner.

          

 If you were from a well-to-do family, your style will be more polished, but not high fashion. The rest of the pictures show a laid back style, which is common. We don't make a habit of dressing up, unless your job requires it. Jeans are THE staple piece! Tights and shorts aren't too trendy unless you live in the city.

Shirts are the broadest range of style in the South. They range from old tee shirts, to tank tops, to blouses, depending on your upbringing. Mostly, we wear boots of some type, flats, or tennis shoes with either boot-cut or slim fit jeans. Flip flops signify that you are either in college, or it is summer. Skinny jeans are not as flattering on true Southern women because we tend to be curvy. The woman in the yellow cardigan standing on the street is the most common body type among Southern women.

Our accessories are a matter of preference, but tend to be towards one extreme or the other - either you wear them and they are big and flashy, or you don't. Hair and makeup are a completely different animal all together. Either your hair is perfectly in place and always looks great, or you just let it do it's thing. Makeup is a take it or leave it kind of thing. Again, this is a sign of how you were brought up. 

The absolute biggest thing to prepare for when you come to the South is pride in your team. Football is everything to everyone... except me. I am unclaimed territory when it comes to sports. If you come to Northeast Georgia in the fall, be prepared for a sea of red and black in support of the Georgia Bulldogs. Me on the other hand, I will be in the corner clinging to my guns and religion in hopes that football season will be over with soon.

Being sick

As much as I love this time of year, I absolutely despise the pollen. This weekend I have had a bad case of the sniffles and is now carrying through into my work week.

When you are sick, people love to give you their sure-fire home remedies that have worked for generations, so that must mean it's gonna work for you too! Well, that isn't always true. I have yet to run in to a suggested remedy that has actually worked. Some have included:

• gargling with warm salt water
• taking a tablespoon of vinegar mixed with honey
• apple cider vinegar shots (NOT suggested if you have never taken ACV before!)
• vapor rub on the bottom of your feet

All of these are great for somebody out there, but they have never given me any relief that lasts more than a few minutes. My favorite thing to do is drink a cup of green tea with honey while sitting under a pile of blankets.

Some extreme remedies I have read involve some sort of alcohol. I am opposed to the use of it, even if it is taking it or dying (my convictions are very strong about it). Another extreme cure I couldn't do is to eat a raw onion. If there is a recipe that involves onions, I give it to my husband to chop. I can rarely cut an onion without looking like my mom after reading a Nicholas Sparks book.

Word of warning when offering advice to a sick person: unless you are a doctor and can back up your claim with medical research, your remedy will not always work the same on someone else as it does for you.

Mother Knows Best

If I wasn't a big enough Disney dork already, my husband bought me a journal yesterday with Ariel on the cover. Ariel was my first Disney love. My entire bedroom was decorated with Ariel. When I was "too big" to have an Ariel themed bedroom, I decorated with shells and dolphins. Today, my house has a very prominent oceanic theme. In spite of my Snow White exterior, I am an Ariel at heart.

Yesterday, I was telling my sister about the new movie Frozen that is coming to theaters this Thanksgiving. She replied with something that set me aback. "So it's another movie of a princess with mother issues? Name one movie that doesn't have a stepmother or the mother isn't in the picture." I replied with The Princess and the Frog, and Sleeping Beauty (if you could really count that since she was raised by her "aunts"). The more I thought about her statement, the more I realized it as true.

We hear all the time about fathers being absent from their child's life and the damage that does, but we can't let the mothers slide! There is something so essential for mothers to spend time with their daughters.

In several popular country songs, the singer says how Momma raised them to "rip up the town" or how their mom was from a "softer generation" so that gives the singer a right to act unbecoming. In both scenarios, I see how the mother was lax in her raising. Either she led her daughter down the wrong path by teaching habits that are inappropriate, or she was passive and let her daughter rule the roost.

Don't get me wrong, fathers play a crucial role in raising daughters, but mothers definitely have the greater responsibility. If a mother is a woman of virtue and lives a life according to Christ, she is the perfect model in which to mold her daughter after. If a mother is not spiritually strong enough to do this, it may be in her better interest to align herself with the Word of God before trying to teach morals and standards. Otherwise, you run a very high risk of causing your daughter to repeat history, or make decisions she should never have to.

Passive parenting seems to be the only kind of parenting nowadays. Everyone wants to be their child's friend and not oppress them. Do these parents not know about the damage that causes? When you want to be your child's friend, you are giving up your authority and making yourself equal with your child (or vice-versa). Your child will not respect you as a parent, but will eventually try to dominate you. This should never be! The role of the parent is to guide their child firmly and lovingly. the Bible says that we are to raise children in the way they should go, and when they are old they will not depart from it.

Because I am a teacher, I see myself as a part-time parent. During the eight hours I am with my students, I am guiding them in the way they should go. I teach them about the world around them, what is right and wrong, and show them God's truth in His Word. Although I did not give birth to them, or teach them to walk and talk, I feel like I am just as much of a mother as anybody.

I encourage all my mothers to consider how they parent. Are you showing your children what is acceptable and good? Are you supportive, but firm? Are you giving your children what they need to be productive members of society? If not, find someone to help you with this journey. Find a friend, a Christian book, or even a pastor to help you sift through your parenting skills and see where your strengths and weaknesses lie. Research ways to strengthen your parenting, but always model it after Biblical teaching. If you are not a parent, begin thinking of how you want to raise your children. It is never too early, or too late, to better yourself and enrich your life and the lives around you.

Noises

This world is full of a lot of noise from people. Noise from their opinions on how you should live your life. Noise of complaints about how hard their life is and your life isn't important. Nose saying how you should dress, look, act, and think.

In the midst of all the noise in my life, I have somehow found a much quieter place where I can go to think. In that quiet place I can only hear the sounds of nature. Wind whispering through the leaves. The water of the pond coming alive with birds and amphibians. The sound of a family of hummingbirds flitting back and forth between flowers.

This is a place at my parents' house where I could go and think.Their entire pasture was my walking/horse riding trail where I could escape the noise.

The noise of nature is much more appealing. It is this kind of noise that helps wash away all the negative noise of others around me. The sensation is similar to taking a warm shower when you have been soaked by cold rain.

The noises we have in our life come in all volumes and pitches. It can be a loud, deep pitch that blocks out all other noises, or a quieter, high pitch that annoys you. Among all the noises in my life right now, I am beginning to find ways to silence those noises.

There are many ways to deal with noise. You can confront whatever is making the noise and silence the source. For example, if a noise is consonantly making you feel bad, you can tell the noise how you feel. The noise could even change its tune and be a positive noise.

However, if a noise is hurtful and you have tried to confront the noise, you may have to not be around that noise. So far, I have found that removing yourself from a noisy situation is one of the best ways to get rid of noise. I have one noise in particular that always makes me feel miserable and less than who I really am. My way of dealing? I stay away from that noise. When you can't hear the noise, it no longer has effect on you.


Not all noises are bad. My quiet place is full of noise, but it is noise that doesn't bombard me. Cling to the noise that you want to listen to. I give this advice with caution, though. Sometimes noise we think is good noise is actually a harmful noise in disguise. Do not seek constant flattery, but instead seek a healthy range of noises. I know one person who has proclaimed that they will only have positive noises in their life. The harm: sometimes we need a sharp noise to keep us in check. If our pride gets to big, we need a noise to remind us that life isn't just about us. If we get into things we shouldn't, we need a voice to remind us that we are better than that. At the same time, if we get down, we need a voice that will lift us up. It is all about having balance.

My challenge, reader, is to evaluate the voices in your life. See if there are some you can let go. See if there are some noises you need to thank for keeping you in check. See if you need a specific noise to enrich your life. Who knows, maybe you could be the noise someone else needs to complete their life.

Hello, my name is...

I have been give the honor of working with the youth of my church to perform a drama. We have three weeks to get it flawless and I know my kids will rise to the occasion! Last night we assigned parts, and worked through the first half of the song. Everyone is so excited!

Before we began, I had a mini-lesson on the labels we give ourselves. I asked the kids to think of one negative word they are told. I passed out "Hello, my name is" name tags and the kids wrote down their word. Some of the answers were stupid, weak, pale, misjudged, rude, and insecure. I then read 2 Corinthians 5:17

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new."

I told the kids that these words we are called are NOT true. We are not defined by what other people tell us. We are defined by who we are in Christ. If we are saved, we are not the same as we once were because God has changed us.

I handed out a new name tag and told them to write down one truth about themselves. Some of the answers were talented, funny, beautiful, crazy, a Christian, and passionate. (That last one was obviously mine.) Next, we ripped up our old name tags and replaced them with a new and better one, just like Christ makes us better when we are saved.

The kids really enjoyed hearing this message because it isn't something that is normally taught. We don't always hear the positive in our lives. We tend to focus on the negative. Even at middle and high school age, we are already deprived of hearing that we aren't stupid or ugly.

I encourage you, reader, to speak truth into the lives of those around you. This means deflecting the lies that the world tells. Let your daughter know she is beautiful. Let your son know he is strong. Let your husband know how wonderful he is. Be an encourager.

Snow White Syndrome

Ok so I have already expressed my love for Snow White. I am a Disney dork. Get over it.

Throughout my life I have been picked on, exiled, and have befriended people that would be considered "beneath me" according to my morals and social class. Why is this? Because of jealous girls.

I call this Snow White Syndrome (S.W.S)

Think about it: Snow White was shunned by the queen because of her beauty (not saying that is the reason I was shunned by others) and befriended those who were outside of her regular circle.

My S.W.S. occurred because of my high moral compass. It all began in grade school. If you were to meet me back then, you would notice immediately that I was not like the other kids. I was mild mannered and wouldn't play with others in my school group. Most often, I would be off singing to myself or playing alone. Why? Because I found my classmates to be crude and annoying. I did not like the games they played or the jokes they made. I was teased for not being like them.

To combat my loneliness, I would read, draw, or pull a Disney Princess and make up songs to sing. My classmates would make fun of my innocent behavior and tried their best to corrupt me. Of course I refused to be like them and separated myself even more from them. I was actually sent to the counselor because I wouldn't socialize.

I finally decided that if I was going to make friends, I would find others who felt the same way I did. I find two lovely ladies: Anastasia and Ashley. They stuck with me through the rest of our grade school days. In middle school, I transferred schools because the bullying was so bad. I though t I was safe, but it only took one girl to undo all of my happiness. She was so jealous of me that she filled my perfume bottle with pine sol, ruining one of my favorite things. She was later dismissed from the school due to other issues.

The bullying didn't stop. High school brought on new pressures: sex, drinking, drugs, leaving my beliefs in order to be accepted, you know the drill. I was able to withstand all of this due to my high moral compass. Yet again, S.W.S was rearing it's pretty little head and labeled me as a goody-goody.

College was the one place where relentless bullying was nonexistent. I was at a Christian school that accepted me just as I was... sort of. Even there I was labeled as a goody-goody with too rigid and narrow-minded beliefs. I guess when they said liberal arts college, they meant it! I wasn't bullied in college, but the label still held me back.

So here I am, a teacher at a private school that accepts my Snow White Syndrome and sees it as valuable. If you suffer from S.W.S in any way, shape, or form, do no try to change your wonderful ways. There is nothing wrong with the way you think, it is the world that has the problem.

Take just a moment to think of the Fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, and all the others. Galatians 5:22-23 lists these nine character traits as something all Christians should posses. I see all of those traits in Snow White. I admire this Disney Princess because she shows the perfect personality of a Christian (minus the constant singing and overly dramatic gestures. That's just Disney). Even through the hardest of times, she never once displayed a disrespectful attitude, nor did she dwell on the fact that the queen wanted her dead. She lived her life with a positive attitude and was grateful for everything, even while being treated like a slave girl and and outcast.

To all of those who have S.W.S of any degree, please do not change. Continue to do good deeds, to have a positive attitude, to see the good in others. Be trusting, be kind, be friendly. Bring joy into the lives of others. Make up songs to sing. Be a Snow White!

~*Beth*~

My story: I got married... and I got fat.

Marriage was the single greatest thing (other than salvation) that has ever happened to me. I had found the one person that God created just for me, and I for him. All my life I had dreamed of this milestone. The only problem: I had one more semester of college left.

This semester was going to be the hardest one of my college career. I would be an unpaid student teacher working at a school that will remain nameless under a teacher who will also remain nameless. This teacher was by far the most abusive (verbally and psychologically) person I have ever encountered. I sunk into a depression that lasted well past my time at this dreadful school and I began to put on the pounds. Because of her, I had to repeat student teaching, resulting in another semester of being unpaid.

Over Christmas break I was a ball of anxiety because of bills, an unknown school, and my increasing weight. My new school was heaven on earth! I was working with a teacher that I will forever admire and at a school I wish every child could attend. Before this school I had a terrible flavor in my mouth for public education, but when I left I knew that not all public schools were bad.

During all of this I gained 4 dress sizes and for the first time in my life I was in double digit sizes. this took a huge toll on my self-esteem. I became self-loathing and contributed to my depression. Also, my husband and I were eating a terribly unhealthy diet and were always on the go. I wanted to change. I wanted to fight my genetics and be skinny, but no amount of wishing could change the fact that I was a size 12.

One day while searching Pinterest, I was looking at how frail the girls were in the fashion pins. Thigh gaps, no curves, and sunken faces were in every picture. I was once that thin. I once looked good in everything I put on. I once could eat anything I wanted and not gain an ounce. My mother warned me of this day.

Then I began asking myself why. Why was this the standard of beauty? Why am I supposed to desire to be those thin little girls? Why can't my size be acceptable in the fashion world without being labeled "plus size"? Enough was enough! I snapped out of my self-loathing and started an inspiration board full of pin-up girls and quotes about loving your body. I AM beautiful, no matter what designers say!

This blog is dedicated to all of those (like me) who are accepting of their body, no matter what size they are. Women today are too self conscious about their bodies and need to be happy with the way God created them. This blog is meant to build up women and not tell them to gain/lose weight. I do encourage my readers to make sure they are healthy in their weight and lifestyle. Health is more important than being skinny or curvy.

In this blog, I will be sharing fashion, food, healthy living tips, as well as my own progress to live a healthier lifestyle. I am an advocate for curvy women so the fashion will be more focused on how to dress your curves appropriately, as well as trends and my fashion outlook. I will also be sharing some of my artistic talents and teaching tips. I hope you enjoy this blog.

~*Beth*~