Becoming Proverbs 31

All my life, I have wanted to be a wife. There was no question that I would marry a Godly man, raise Godly children, and be involved with my church. That was my vision for the future.

How did it turn out?

I am married (obviously), still waiting on the kids, and I spend every day except Saturday at church either teaching at the school, leading youth group, or attending services.

Seems great, right?

Over the past several months, I have been a very cold person. I have no close friendships, and have almost resolved to not make new ones. I don't want anyone except my family in my life right now. Why am I so bitter? Because I have experienced great pain and loss involving letting people into my life. My relationship with my husband has become stand-offish, a terrible thing to have. I keep him, and everyone for that matter, at arms length in fear of being hurt. Beginning with student teaching, my life has been a downward spiral into a pit of despair. I need healing. I need rescuing.

Lately God has been dealing quite heavily with me on my behavior. I have become isolated. I have covered myself up in order to avoid being hurt. In doing so, I have cut off the viable things of life, such as human relations. I have taken away a necessity for me to be healthy and thriving. I can feel the drought in my soul.

What am I to do?

To begin my journey of healing, I turned to the Bible. As a Christian, my desire is to align myself with God's word. But more specifically, I needed to align myself with the example God has given for a woman. In Proverbs 31, we read about the virtuous woman. She is an influential woman of God who is fully capable of handling anything that comes her way with grace and integrity.

Upon further research, I have come across these points and verses for how to be a Godly woman:

1. Put God first (Commandment number one, and Matthew 6:33-34)
2. Conduct yourself in a holy manner (Proverbs 7:18-29)
3. Speak and act truthfully and faithfully (7:18-29, 31:26)
4. Look after and care for your home (Proverbs 31:13, Titus 2:5)
5. Serve others (Proverbs 31: 15,20)
6. Be trustworthy (Proverbs 31:13)
7. Be financially responsible (Proverbs 31:16, 24)
8. Work hard (Proverbs 31:17, 19)
9. Have an honorable reputation (Proverbs 31:23)
10: Be meek and humble (Proverbs 9:13, 7:11, 31:26, 2 Timothy 2:24, 1 Peter 3:1-7)
11. Seek sound Biblical wisdom (Proverbs 31:26)
12. Serve the Lord fully (there are many verses for this, but I like Colossians 3:23 the best)
13.  Dress modestly and show true beauty (Proverbs 7:10)

These thirteen points seem like a lot, but it is what I (or any woman for that matter) should do in order to become the woman she is called to be according to the Bible. I look forward to sharing my journey with you, reader, and challenge you to align yourself with these standards with me. After all, it is better to travel together than to venture out alone.

God Bless.

Captivating Women

Going through some old documents, I found something that you, my readers, will find inspiring. Today I would like to share a book review I wrote in college.

Captivating, written by John and Stasi Eldredge in 2005, has been an inspiration to women around the world. In the book, the authors discuss a variety of issues women face through the course of their lives, bringing to light how these issues have drug us down and made us feel devalued. They have brought us away from how God originally created women to be … captivating. For example, a little girl twirling in a poufy skirt is showing the world she can be captivating and wishes for her father, who is sitting in his favorite chair, to notice her. Through this small action, she feels lovely and wants her father to notice her. But does he? Women often ask others if they are worthy of love and truly beautiful, whether with words or actions. Sometimes these answers are yes. Other times they are no, and the girl in the example is left disappointed and possibly scarred, thinking that she is not worthy.

In the chapter “What Eve Alone Can Tell,” it mentions that by looking at the story of creation, women can understand how they are supposed to be. As segments of Genesis chapters one and two are dissected for us by the authors, we see the progression of creation. From the beginning of the book, I was enchanted at the truths the authors were revealing. According to the feminist movement, women are not some fragile, kitchen-dwelling creature, they are equal with men. Although a woman can hold any position a man can, there is something the creation story reveals that shows why woman is called the "weaker vessel". Adam was created n the wilds, not the softness and beauty of the garden. 

Within every man is a desire for "roughing it," as well as leading and providing for his family. Adam was a man's man. He gathered and provided, he was given the daunting task of naming all the animals. Eve was blessed to be created within the garden where she never had to gather and provide. She just had to walk up to the nearest tree and eat the fruit. God wanted Adam to keep her safe and protected to fulfill his roles as a man.Women are not supposed to carry the weight of responsibility that men do. The Bible is very clear on the roles of men and women. Man is the head of the house, in which he will face consequences if he leads his family astray. Women are supposed to be caretakers, but not simple housewives that are only supposed to cook, clean, and have babies. That role isn't for everyone. For a further example of women's roles, see Proverbs 31.

So women were created to be emotional, soft, and strong? Yes, they are! Women are actually created to be the most delicate, beautiful, and captivating part of creation. If one were to look at the elevation of intricacy within creation, one would discover that as time goes on, the creature becomes more intricate, more beautiful, and at the pinnacle of it all was woman. All my life I had been put down by other people, both male and female. As a result I had acquired the idea that I am ugly, unaccepted, and worthless, but when I began reading this book I started seeing myself in a different light. Could I really be beautiful, loved, and priceless? At first I couldn't grasp these ideas, but as the book went on I began to see myself differently. I was noticing all the scars life had given me. Still there was something that still ached inside of me. I wanted to know that I am beautiful. To heal that ache I would have to look at the oldest story known: the story of creation. 

The scene begins with the Holy Spirit hovering over the waters in darkness. According to the Bible, the earth was without form. It was the perfect blank canvas, a new lump of clay waiting to be molded. It was the breathless moment before the first line of a play is presented. Then God spoke and created light. Next he made land, a great divide to separate the waters, and he brought the water into one place. The first brush strokes have been made. God next adds detail, designs, and color. Grass, flowers, plants, and trees appear in every direction. God then creates the heavens. Numerous stars began to appear in the void above, and so did the sun and the moon. 

Next are the animals both small and large – land, sea, and air alike. In everything, creation is ascending in its beauty and complexity. It seems like God is becoming more creative as he goes along. Each creature is more intricate than the one before it. All led up to the moment where God places his own image on earth. God created man. Still something was missing. God couldn't fit all his personality into one human being. There had to be a balance to man’s rough and rugged nature. There needed to be woman. 

Imagine the first time Adam saw Eve. I could imagine it resembling the painting of the birth of Venus. Eve’s hair gently caressing her soft skin as all nature stops to watch her. She is the most beautiful of all God’s creation. Eve is the pinnacle of God’s masterpiece, the one thing that completes the world. She holds the loving heart of God in her chest.

As the book continues, it speaks about God being harsh and loving, rugged and delicate at the same time. God’s heart is so big that he had to divide these emotions and needs into two different human beings. The emotions and needs of the genders are separated so that, when brought together, they complete each other. An example of this is how a husband and wife are said to balance each other. Women were created as the more delicate vessel, and the Bible states that it is the man’s job to protect woman. Think about the games kids play. The boys are tackling each other, or fighting with stick-swords to show they are worthy of whatever they are fighting for, while girls are playing princess or some other game that involves them being rescued. They want a knight in shining armor to rescue them from their predicament, whether it is a dragon or, as women grow up, their own broken heart. 

There is a purpose for everything God creates. As Psalms states God knew us from the time we were in our mother’s womb. He created us with a purpose. He created us with needs and wants, as well as the need and desire to be loved. God made woman to be loving, compassionate, emotional, and beautiful. He saved woman for last so she could be the final touch of creation. Without her, creation isn't complete. Eve was God’s piece de resistance. She was the last brushstroke that completed God’s work of art. She saw everything it its entirety, because after her creation God saw that it was good, and he rested.

Dealing with It

this week during our group devotion time, I have been discussing salvation. God really laid it hard and heavy on my heart on Sunday when I was planning. I was focusing especially hard on the Old Testament law such as what it was and how it tied in to Christianity today.

Day 1: We are never good enough (Matthew 5:17-20)
Day 2: If we are in Christ, we are free from the law. However, if it wasn't for the law, we would not know what is sin and how inadequate we are (Romans 7:4-7)
Day 3: We are free from the law of sin and death. We are not to focus on the things of the flesh, or earthly things, but on spiritual things instead (Romans 8:1-9)
Day 4 (today): The story of Nicodemus (Luke 3:1-19)

After reading, a student who is a self-declared Atheist slipped me a note saying that it is things like my devotions that make him glad he is an Atheist because he does not have to believe any of it. I was taken aback by his defiant and rude letter.Immediately I wanted to pull him out and tell him how disrespectful he is.

This, of course, is not the right action.

In the past, I was always the first to react to someone's disrespect of my God and my beliefs. Now my heart breaks for him. He is simply acting out as a way of showing conviction. He has questioned me on several occasions on my beliefs, to which I always give a proper response. Now I am in uncharted waters. I am dealing with a student instead of a peer, who is at a pivotal point in his life.

Today I am praying and researching on how to best deal with this situation. Your prayers and support are greatly appreciated.

Getting Kids to Read the Bible

Working at a Christian school, we have a lot of devotion time. I lead one every morning and sometimes have a bonus video or discussion during the day. One thing that I have not encouraged is for my students to read their Bibles on their own.

Today, after reading the first three verses, I assigned Hebrews 11 to the students. They were to read the verse and take notes. Of course they had no clue how to do that. I told them to read it and write down anything that stands out to them, and any thoughts or questions they had about what they were reading. Here are some of the results (no names will be used, only gender)

Boy: I like this verse (verse 1) because it explains faith's meaning so fully.

Boy: We must have faith to please God like it says in verse 6.

Girl: Without faith it is impossible to please God because you have to believe in him!

Girl: When I think of faith, I think of the fruit of the spirit.

Boy: I think it was cool that just because Abraham had faith he became a father.

Getting a child to read the Bible is quite difficult. They do not see it as a book to read, but as a book to study. It's like reading a novel verses reading a textbook. As a teacher, I desire to make reading and learning enjoyable. This is doubled for reading the Bible. I was always read "The Bible for Kids" which was a collection of the best stories that was translated in kid-friendly language. Making the transition from that to the good ole' King James was a bit difficult. I prefer the New King James myself, but even that can pose difficult to young readers.

 So how do you get kids to read the Bible without it feeling like pulling teeth? Here are some things to keep in mind when teaching your child proper Bible reading skills:

1. Read together. This age old trick is not only a bonding time for you and your child, but it is a chance to really teach them about how to read the Bible. We all know that (for the most part) you can't read the Bible like a storybook, but you don't read it like a history book either. It is something that is to be examined. Children are not going to understand most scripture right away, especially names and places. Sitting with your child and helping them pronounce words will help build their reading and phonics skills; a BIG double hitter! 
2. Guide your child into the development of theology. Developing a solid theology at a young age is crucial for Christians. I praise God every day that my parents did this! Some people do not want to do this, thinking that a child needs to develop such on their own. Let me remind you that the scriptures say that foolishness is bound in the heart of a child (Proverbs 22:15a). Doesn't sound so easy now, does it?
3. Set goals and rewards. For every chapter your child reads, they will get extra computer/TV/video game time. This is one example of a goal and reward. There can be many ways to approach this and ill vary depending on the child. Some kids can blaze through entire books in a matter of days. Some may take a week to read a chapter. The important thing is to ask questions about what they are reading to see if they truly understand what they are reading. 
4. Ask them to keep a Bible journal. Like I did in class toady, ask your child to keep a journal documenting what they have read, the date, and ask them to jot down their thoughts or important things they want to remember. This will help with their comprehension as well as sharpen their note-taking skills.
5. Designate a special time. Teaching a child to set aside time for specific tasks is a great skill and is one even adults struggle with. Also, teaching them to arrange their priorities properly will give them an enormous advantage in life. Teach them to develop an attitude like: "Have all homework and play time done by this time or it will have to wait until I have read my Bible."

Even if you don't have kids, you can use these five simple tips and tricks to help you and your spouse during devotional time. My husband and I often share devotions and discuss what we have been reading. When you are married, your spiritual life is no longer just yours. What you do or don't do will effect your spouse just as much as it effects you.

If you have any other tips and tricks, let me know. I always enjoy comments!

Dear Edna, Thank You.

As you may have guessed, I am a Disney freak. One of my favorite non-princess movies is "The Incredibles." Surfing through Pinterest, I came a cross this little nugget:

I would love an Edna like this in my life. Someone to hit me with a newspaper when I start to fall apart. 

The Bible refers this method of encouragement as "iron sharpening iron." A good hit to keep you sharp. Have you ever seen a sword being made? It is put through fire, then hit repeatedly until it is the way the blacksmith wants it, then into cold water to set the metal. This process is repeated and repeated until the sword is perfect. But not just any tool can be used to sharpen the iron into a sword. It has to be an iron mallet. The same material rebuffing the other to make it into something extraordinary and useful.

When someone tries to sharpen us, we say they are being judgmental or even hypocritical, because they are the same as us (sinners). Guess what though? The mallet and sword are made from the same material. What would it be like if the sword told the iron to stop sharpening it because it was iron, too. That's silly, isn't it? We do the same thing when we wrongfully call someone judgmental or hypocritical when they are trying to help you become a better person.

Sharpening someone can come in many forms: a newspaper hitting you, harsh words, or even a gentile reminder. Most of the time our pride is what is struck. When someone is sharpening you, don't think the correction is mean or judgmental. Instead use it to better yourself. After all, if the iron sword resisted the iron mallet sharpening it, it would never become a useful weapon.

Today I challenge my readers to not only to let themselves be sharpened by others, but to also help sharpen someone else.

~*Beth*~

Snow White Syndrome

Ok so I have already expressed my love for Snow White. I am a Disney dork. Get over it.

Throughout my life I have been picked on, exiled, and have befriended people that would be considered "beneath me" according to my morals and social class. Why is this? Because of jealous girls.

I call this Snow White Syndrome (S.W.S)

Think about it: Snow White was shunned by the queen because of her beauty (not saying that is the reason I was shunned by others) and befriended those who were outside of her regular circle.

My S.W.S. occurred because of my high moral compass. It all began in grade school. If you were to meet me back then, you would notice immediately that I was not like the other kids. I was mild mannered and wouldn't play with others in my school group. Most often, I would be off singing to myself or playing alone. Why? Because I found my classmates to be crude and annoying. I did not like the games they played or the jokes they made. I was teased for not being like them.

To combat my loneliness, I would read, draw, or pull a Disney Princess and make up songs to sing. My classmates would make fun of my innocent behavior and tried their best to corrupt me. Of course I refused to be like them and separated myself even more from them. I was actually sent to the counselor because I wouldn't socialize.

I finally decided that if I was going to make friends, I would find others who felt the same way I did. I find two lovely ladies: Anastasia and Ashley. They stuck with me through the rest of our grade school days. In middle school, I transferred schools because the bullying was so bad. I though t I was safe, but it only took one girl to undo all of my happiness. She was so jealous of me that she filled my perfume bottle with pine sol, ruining one of my favorite things. She was later dismissed from the school due to other issues.

The bullying didn't stop. High school brought on new pressures: sex, drinking, drugs, leaving my beliefs in order to be accepted, you know the drill. I was able to withstand all of this due to my high moral compass. Yet again, S.W.S was rearing it's pretty little head and labeled me as a goody-goody.

College was the one place where relentless bullying was nonexistent. I was at a Christian school that accepted me just as I was... sort of. Even there I was labeled as a goody-goody with too rigid and narrow-minded beliefs. I guess when they said liberal arts college, they meant it! I wasn't bullied in college, but the label still held me back.

So here I am, a teacher at a private school that accepts my Snow White Syndrome and sees it as valuable. If you suffer from S.W.S in any way, shape, or form, do no try to change your wonderful ways. There is nothing wrong with the way you think, it is the world that has the problem.

Take just a moment to think of the Fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, and all the others. Galatians 5:22-23 lists these nine character traits as something all Christians should posses. I see all of those traits in Snow White. I admire this Disney Princess because she shows the perfect personality of a Christian (minus the constant singing and overly dramatic gestures. That's just Disney). Even through the hardest of times, she never once displayed a disrespectful attitude, nor did she dwell on the fact that the queen wanted her dead. She lived her life with a positive attitude and was grateful for everything, even while being treated like a slave girl and and outcast.

To all of those who have S.W.S of any degree, please do not change. Continue to do good deeds, to have a positive attitude, to see the good in others. Be trusting, be kind, be friendly. Bring joy into the lives of others. Make up songs to sing. Be a Snow White!

~*Beth*~