Becoming Proverbs 31

All my life, I have wanted to be a wife. There was no question that I would marry a Godly man, raise Godly children, and be involved with my church. That was my vision for the future.

How did it turn out?

I am married (obviously), still waiting on the kids, and I spend every day except Saturday at church either teaching at the school, leading youth group, or attending services.

Seems great, right?

Over the past several months, I have been a very cold person. I have no close friendships, and have almost resolved to not make new ones. I don't want anyone except my family in my life right now. Why am I so bitter? Because I have experienced great pain and loss involving letting people into my life. My relationship with my husband has become stand-offish, a terrible thing to have. I keep him, and everyone for that matter, at arms length in fear of being hurt. Beginning with student teaching, my life has been a downward spiral into a pit of despair. I need healing. I need rescuing.

Lately God has been dealing quite heavily with me on my behavior. I have become isolated. I have covered myself up in order to avoid being hurt. In doing so, I have cut off the viable things of life, such as human relations. I have taken away a necessity for me to be healthy and thriving. I can feel the drought in my soul.

What am I to do?

To begin my journey of healing, I turned to the Bible. As a Christian, my desire is to align myself with God's word. But more specifically, I needed to align myself with the example God has given for a woman. In Proverbs 31, we read about the virtuous woman. She is an influential woman of God who is fully capable of handling anything that comes her way with grace and integrity.

Upon further research, I have come across these points and verses for how to be a Godly woman:

1. Put God first (Commandment number one, and Matthew 6:33-34)
2. Conduct yourself in a holy manner (Proverbs 7:18-29)
3. Speak and act truthfully and faithfully (7:18-29, 31:26)
4. Look after and care for your home (Proverbs 31:13, Titus 2:5)
5. Serve others (Proverbs 31: 15,20)
6. Be trustworthy (Proverbs 31:13)
7. Be financially responsible (Proverbs 31:16, 24)
8. Work hard (Proverbs 31:17, 19)
9. Have an honorable reputation (Proverbs 31:23)
10: Be meek and humble (Proverbs 9:13, 7:11, 31:26, 2 Timothy 2:24, 1 Peter 3:1-7)
11. Seek sound Biblical wisdom (Proverbs 31:26)
12. Serve the Lord fully (there are many verses for this, but I like Colossians 3:23 the best)
13.  Dress modestly and show true beauty (Proverbs 7:10)

These thirteen points seem like a lot, but it is what I (or any woman for that matter) should do in order to become the woman she is called to be according to the Bible. I look forward to sharing my journey with you, reader, and challenge you to align yourself with these standards with me. After all, it is better to travel together than to venture out alone.

God Bless.

Designed

My mom shared this video today and it disgusted me. It shows how models are made to look like a model. We think that the woman above has makeup, maybe a wig, and great lighting right? Watch it and see.

In the US, the estimated population of women in 2012 was a little over 50%. Glamour magazine says that approximately 97% of women will be cruel to their body. This can include anything from having cruel thoughts to eating disorders.

As much as I have talked about women having distorted views of beauty, I have never addressed men and their views of women. Most women would say that men are pigs. They only have one thing on their minds, and you know what, it's true! That's how men are designed to think so let's give them a break! They are designed by God to work to "bring home the bacon" and reproduce. That's what they are! They are driven by a woman's beauty because that's how they are wired. Each male is also wired to have a different standard of beauty for his spouse. My husband loves my curves, brown hair, and pale skin. Other men would prefer thin redheads, busty and tan blondes, or an African goddess (not trying to be racist or stereotypical in any way). In this case I can truly say to each, his own. Just like we have a favorite color or dessert, men have a favorite type of woman.

Women are designed for nurturing and providing care of their offspring, and making a house into a home. The president's wife of my college said that her favorite time of the school year was when the girls moved into the dorms. She would always walk around to see how they took the small rooms and made them into a beautiful and cozy miniature home. We all have our own unique kind of beauty that makes us desirable to our husbands. After all, that's why they picked us and not someone else. It is finding that beauty (even through the extra 15 pounds or grey hair) and realizing that we are still the same. I am still the same quirky, outspoken Disney-loving teacher I was when I married my husband, despite my weight.

My challenge to you, reader, is to find that beauty within and set her free. She may not be a magazine-worthy model like the girl at the end of the video, but think about the girl at the beginning. She is just as beautiful as the girl she is photographed as, maybe even more beautiful because she is REAL. Be real. Be you.

Finding the Beauty Within the Beast

Readers: "Not another Disney reference!"

Me: "Oh yes!"

In a conversation with my mom yesterday, she mentioned how my story was like Beauty and the Beast... except I was the beast. I have always liked the story and the character of Belle, since she is a bookworm, but I have never thought of myself as the character of Beast.

One of my favorite retelling is "Beastly" by Alex Flinn, a modern version of the classic tale. It was the second book to movie that I reversed, reading the book after falling in love with the movie. The main character is not the beloved Beauty we hear so much about, but instead it is the Beast's side of the story. Getting to know the Beast brought an entirely new dimension to the tale. I saw his inner-struggle of wishing to be like his old self, then the acceptance of his new form.

This reminded me of my story before and after student teaching. Before I was a girl with a cushioned life. I never knew of life and its hardships. As my cooperating teacher told me my first semester, I was a spoiled little child that was never made to do anything. (Yes, go ahead and be in shock over the fact that a seasoned teacher got away with calling her student that. It boils my blood that she could call me that, and worse, and never be reprimanded.) Even though it was an uncalled for and very unprofessional statement, there was truth behind it. I had been spoiled in the sense that I had never had to pay bills, keep a clean house, or experience failing.

If I was the Beast in the story, my college professors and first teacher were the witch. Because of them, I was being transformed into something terrible: a bitter, self-loathing individual who would rather die than spend one more day in torment. That was the darkest point in my life.

As the story goes, Beauty enters in the form of a new semester and a new teacher. This teacher was wonderful! She was kind, patient, understanding, and helped me overcome my circumstance. She didn't judge me based on what had happened and gave me everything I needed to succeed. Because of her, I got my confidence back and was able to transform into the adult and teacher I never knew I could be.

I guess this stage could be called the post-transformation stage, when the Prince is finding out he is really like. Finding that his personality is different. Finding that by becoming a beast, he would never be the same as he once was. He will always carry the scars, the memories, and the emotions. He would be better off because of it, but there will always be a part of him that wishes the experience never happened. That maybe there could have been another way.

As if this post wasn't Disney enough, I would like to direct your attention to the following quote:

As wise as this advice is, only we can decide what to do with our past. The decisions we make with what to do with it will effect us for the rest of our days. Let the decision be as wise as Rafiki's advice.

While I continue to deal with the memory of being the Beast, I have to follow this advice. I can either run from it and forget, or learn from it and become stronger and find the beauty within the beast.