Becoming Proverbs 31

All my life, I have wanted to be a wife. There was no question that I would marry a Godly man, raise Godly children, and be involved with my church. That was my vision for the future.

How did it turn out?

I am married (obviously), still waiting on the kids, and I spend every day except Saturday at church either teaching at the school, leading youth group, or attending services.

Seems great, right?

Over the past several months, I have been a very cold person. I have no close friendships, and have almost resolved to not make new ones. I don't want anyone except my family in my life right now. Why am I so bitter? Because I have experienced great pain and loss involving letting people into my life. My relationship with my husband has become stand-offish, a terrible thing to have. I keep him, and everyone for that matter, at arms length in fear of being hurt. Beginning with student teaching, my life has been a downward spiral into a pit of despair. I need healing. I need rescuing.

Lately God has been dealing quite heavily with me on my behavior. I have become isolated. I have covered myself up in order to avoid being hurt. In doing so, I have cut off the viable things of life, such as human relations. I have taken away a necessity for me to be healthy and thriving. I can feel the drought in my soul.

What am I to do?

To begin my journey of healing, I turned to the Bible. As a Christian, my desire is to align myself with God's word. But more specifically, I needed to align myself with the example God has given for a woman. In Proverbs 31, we read about the virtuous woman. She is an influential woman of God who is fully capable of handling anything that comes her way with grace and integrity.

Upon further research, I have come across these points and verses for how to be a Godly woman:

1. Put God first (Commandment number one, and Matthew 6:33-34)
2. Conduct yourself in a holy manner (Proverbs 7:18-29)
3. Speak and act truthfully and faithfully (7:18-29, 31:26)
4. Look after and care for your home (Proverbs 31:13, Titus 2:5)
5. Serve others (Proverbs 31: 15,20)
6. Be trustworthy (Proverbs 31:13)
7. Be financially responsible (Proverbs 31:16, 24)
8. Work hard (Proverbs 31:17, 19)
9. Have an honorable reputation (Proverbs 31:23)
10: Be meek and humble (Proverbs 9:13, 7:11, 31:26, 2 Timothy 2:24, 1 Peter 3:1-7)
11. Seek sound Biblical wisdom (Proverbs 31:26)
12. Serve the Lord fully (there are many verses for this, but I like Colossians 3:23 the best)
13.  Dress modestly and show true beauty (Proverbs 7:10)

These thirteen points seem like a lot, but it is what I (or any woman for that matter) should do in order to become the woman she is called to be according to the Bible. I look forward to sharing my journey with you, reader, and challenge you to align yourself with these standards with me. After all, it is better to travel together than to venture out alone.

God Bless.

Gypsy Life

Since I do not have cable or satellite, I have to make due with Netflix. recently I have been enthralled with "My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding" and I must say that some of their morals and expectations are awesome!

The views I find most appealing are that women must be virgins to be married, they are raised to be housewives, and their emphasis on family is incredible! I was a virgin bride so I know how hard it is in a sexually driven world to be a virgin. Gypsy's do not allow kissing, where it was fine for me to kiss. I was happy for that because when I kissed Kevin, my now-husband, for the first time I knew I would marry him.

Raising daughters to be housewives is an excellent skill I wish I had learned, and definitely one I want to teach to my daughter(s). When I got married, I didn't have a clue of how to keep a clean house! I am still working on making cleaning a habit, but it is difficult to break 23+years of habit.

Family is something very important to me, and seeing the emphasis the family from the show put on making each child out to be the most special and important. That mentality is wonderful for their confidence! A parent that makes their child feel special creates a positive bond and affirms love to the child in a unique way.

I would say the only things I don't particularly enjoy about the Gypsy culture is the drinking and letting the men do whatever they please. I am not a fan of drinking period so of course I would see fault with that. However, letting the men do whatever they please (right or wrong) is not good. Not having accountability for ANY gender, race, or group of people is wrong. It lets in bad habits that have the potential to ruin lives.

One part I am undecided on is the way the women dress. I grew up in a house where modesty is emphasized so it was very foreign to see young teenagers dress in minimal clothes. I know, however, that it is their culture to dress that way, just like it is for them to dance the way they do. Again, I was brought up where dancing like that was a sin because it evoked lust. In their culture, where girls marry at a very young age and are not allowed to really be around boys, I can see where dancing like that is justifiable. It is a form of courtship. Much like courtship dances in birds of paradise, Gypsy women show off their dance moves to attract a husband.

Learning about the Gypsy and Traveler lifestyle has really opened my eyes to their world. It is really a fascinating culture and I have greatly benefited from this glimpse into their world. I would love to know more.

Mother Knows Best

If I wasn't a big enough Disney dork already, my husband bought me a journal yesterday with Ariel on the cover. Ariel was my first Disney love. My entire bedroom was decorated with Ariel. When I was "too big" to have an Ariel themed bedroom, I decorated with shells and dolphins. Today, my house has a very prominent oceanic theme. In spite of my Snow White exterior, I am an Ariel at heart.

Yesterday, I was telling my sister about the new movie Frozen that is coming to theaters this Thanksgiving. She replied with something that set me aback. "So it's another movie of a princess with mother issues? Name one movie that doesn't have a stepmother or the mother isn't in the picture." I replied with The Princess and the Frog, and Sleeping Beauty (if you could really count that since she was raised by her "aunts"). The more I thought about her statement, the more I realized it as true.

We hear all the time about fathers being absent from their child's life and the damage that does, but we can't let the mothers slide! There is something so essential for mothers to spend time with their daughters.

In several popular country songs, the singer says how Momma raised them to "rip up the town" or how their mom was from a "softer generation" so that gives the singer a right to act unbecoming. In both scenarios, I see how the mother was lax in her raising. Either she led her daughter down the wrong path by teaching habits that are inappropriate, or she was passive and let her daughter rule the roost.

Don't get me wrong, fathers play a crucial role in raising daughters, but mothers definitely have the greater responsibility. If a mother is a woman of virtue and lives a life according to Christ, she is the perfect model in which to mold her daughter after. If a mother is not spiritually strong enough to do this, it may be in her better interest to align herself with the Word of God before trying to teach morals and standards. Otherwise, you run a very high risk of causing your daughter to repeat history, or make decisions she should never have to.

Passive parenting seems to be the only kind of parenting nowadays. Everyone wants to be their child's friend and not oppress them. Do these parents not know about the damage that causes? When you want to be your child's friend, you are giving up your authority and making yourself equal with your child (or vice-versa). Your child will not respect you as a parent, but will eventually try to dominate you. This should never be! The role of the parent is to guide their child firmly and lovingly. the Bible says that we are to raise children in the way they should go, and when they are old they will not depart from it.

Because I am a teacher, I see myself as a part-time parent. During the eight hours I am with my students, I am guiding them in the way they should go. I teach them about the world around them, what is right and wrong, and show them God's truth in His Word. Although I did not give birth to them, or teach them to walk and talk, I feel like I am just as much of a mother as anybody.

I encourage all my mothers to consider how they parent. Are you showing your children what is acceptable and good? Are you supportive, but firm? Are you giving your children what they need to be productive members of society? If not, find someone to help you with this journey. Find a friend, a Christian book, or even a pastor to help you sift through your parenting skills and see where your strengths and weaknesses lie. Research ways to strengthen your parenting, but always model it after Biblical teaching. If you are not a parent, begin thinking of how you want to raise your children. It is never too early, or too late, to better yourself and enrich your life and the lives around you.