What I Wanted to Be

Growing up, every girl has a dream of what they imagine growing up will be like. From the kind of hobbies you will have to the man you marry, a girl who dreams can create some big standards for herself.

When I was growing up, I wanted to be a cheerleader, but if you know anything about me I couldn't do that for health reasons. I was 12 and in Rec Department cheerleading when I found out about my scoliosis. The coach was my cousin and knew I wasn't going to be held back by it, so it was never an issue, even with the brace. I was just so happy to finally be a cheerleader!

Then comes age 16: the first (and only) time I tried out for cheerleading.

I made the JV squad since it was my first year and was beyond happy, however I wasn't popular and was the new fish in the sea of pom poms and hair bows. Naturally, I tried my best to smile and come out of my shell in order to fit in. I had a cousin on the squad, which made things easier as far as making friends went. I was welcome by everyone... except the captain. It wasn't anything negative about my cheering or my personality that bugged her. It was the threat of competition. It was made very apparent that she was not captain based on her cheering capability.

I know this sounds like bragging, but I am just speaking truth. All my friends and family told me that I was definitely one of the best on the squad, even the varsity coach said so.

Why is this such a big deal? Isn't this a bit juvenile for you?

Maybe... but that isn't the end of this story.

As time went on, her jealousy turned me against cheerleading and ultimately led me to quitting the squad, a decision I will regret forever.

I did try to reconnect with my inner-cheerleader during college. There were a group of girls who resurrected the Emmanuel cheerleading squad. I had befriended them at the gym, and, after some impressive dance and cheering exercises, they wanted me to join the squad. The unfortunate part was I could never be a cheerleader again. The summer the squad was to debut at camp, I would be having my spine surgery. This was a devastating blow to my mantra of not letting anything hold you back.

Reminiscing on what I wanted to be, life isn't how I expected it to be. At age 13, I wrote down a list of goals I wanted to accomplish in life. Somewhere along the line, I lost the list. To this day I don't have much to show for it. As hard as one may try, there are always limitations that will cause your goals to go unmet. The limitations can be physical, mental, or even spiritual. Whatever the limitations, one should never give up simply because a goal was unmet, or a dream ended. Limitations are not the end of the world. They are a chance to back up and start over.

Maybe now is a good time to reassess my life goals and start a new list, a more mature list. Maybe one with more depth than my 13 year old self had.

Gypsy Life

Since I do not have cable or satellite, I have to make due with Netflix. recently I have been enthralled with "My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding" and I must say that some of their morals and expectations are awesome!

The views I find most appealing are that women must be virgins to be married, they are raised to be housewives, and their emphasis on family is incredible! I was a virgin bride so I know how hard it is in a sexually driven world to be a virgin. Gypsy's do not allow kissing, where it was fine for me to kiss. I was happy for that because when I kissed Kevin, my now-husband, for the first time I knew I would marry him.

Raising daughters to be housewives is an excellent skill I wish I had learned, and definitely one I want to teach to my daughter(s). When I got married, I didn't have a clue of how to keep a clean house! I am still working on making cleaning a habit, but it is difficult to break 23+years of habit.

Family is something very important to me, and seeing the emphasis the family from the show put on making each child out to be the most special and important. That mentality is wonderful for their confidence! A parent that makes their child feel special creates a positive bond and affirms love to the child in a unique way.

I would say the only things I don't particularly enjoy about the Gypsy culture is the drinking and letting the men do whatever they please. I am not a fan of drinking period so of course I would see fault with that. However, letting the men do whatever they please (right or wrong) is not good. Not having accountability for ANY gender, race, or group of people is wrong. It lets in bad habits that have the potential to ruin lives.

One part I am undecided on is the way the women dress. I grew up in a house where modesty is emphasized so it was very foreign to see young teenagers dress in minimal clothes. I know, however, that it is their culture to dress that way, just like it is for them to dance the way they do. Again, I was brought up where dancing like that was a sin because it evoked lust. In their culture, where girls marry at a very young age and are not allowed to really be around boys, I can see where dancing like that is justifiable. It is a form of courtship. Much like courtship dances in birds of paradise, Gypsy women show off their dance moves to attract a husband.

Learning about the Gypsy and Traveler lifestyle has really opened my eyes to their world. It is really a fascinating culture and I have greatly benefited from this glimpse into their world. I would love to know more.

Noises

This world is full of a lot of noise from people. Noise from their opinions on how you should live your life. Noise of complaints about how hard their life is and your life isn't important. Nose saying how you should dress, look, act, and think.

In the midst of all the noise in my life, I have somehow found a much quieter place where I can go to think. In that quiet place I can only hear the sounds of nature. Wind whispering through the leaves. The water of the pond coming alive with birds and amphibians. The sound of a family of hummingbirds flitting back and forth between flowers.

This is a place at my parents' house where I could go and think.Their entire pasture was my walking/horse riding trail where I could escape the noise.

The noise of nature is much more appealing. It is this kind of noise that helps wash away all the negative noise of others around me. The sensation is similar to taking a warm shower when you have been soaked by cold rain.

The noises we have in our life come in all volumes and pitches. It can be a loud, deep pitch that blocks out all other noises, or a quieter, high pitch that annoys you. Among all the noises in my life right now, I am beginning to find ways to silence those noises.

There are many ways to deal with noise. You can confront whatever is making the noise and silence the source. For example, if a noise is consonantly making you feel bad, you can tell the noise how you feel. The noise could even change its tune and be a positive noise.

However, if a noise is hurtful and you have tried to confront the noise, you may have to not be around that noise. So far, I have found that removing yourself from a noisy situation is one of the best ways to get rid of noise. I have one noise in particular that always makes me feel miserable and less than who I really am. My way of dealing? I stay away from that noise. When you can't hear the noise, it no longer has effect on you.


Not all noises are bad. My quiet place is full of noise, but it is noise that doesn't bombard me. Cling to the noise that you want to listen to. I give this advice with caution, though. Sometimes noise we think is good noise is actually a harmful noise in disguise. Do not seek constant flattery, but instead seek a healthy range of noises. I know one person who has proclaimed that they will only have positive noises in their life. The harm: sometimes we need a sharp noise to keep us in check. If our pride gets to big, we need a noise to remind us that life isn't just about us. If we get into things we shouldn't, we need a voice to remind us that we are better than that. At the same time, if we get down, we need a voice that will lift us up. It is all about having balance.

My challenge, reader, is to evaluate the voices in your life. See if there are some you can let go. See if there are some noises you need to thank for keeping you in check. See if you need a specific noise to enrich your life. Who knows, maybe you could be the noise someone else needs to complete their life.

Hello, my name is...

I have been give the honor of working with the youth of my church to perform a drama. We have three weeks to get it flawless and I know my kids will rise to the occasion! Last night we assigned parts, and worked through the first half of the song. Everyone is so excited!

Before we began, I had a mini-lesson on the labels we give ourselves. I asked the kids to think of one negative word they are told. I passed out "Hello, my name is" name tags and the kids wrote down their word. Some of the answers were stupid, weak, pale, misjudged, rude, and insecure. I then read 2 Corinthians 5:17

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new."

I told the kids that these words we are called are NOT true. We are not defined by what other people tell us. We are defined by who we are in Christ. If we are saved, we are not the same as we once were because God has changed us.

I handed out a new name tag and told them to write down one truth about themselves. Some of the answers were talented, funny, beautiful, crazy, a Christian, and passionate. (That last one was obviously mine.) Next, we ripped up our old name tags and replaced them with a new and better one, just like Christ makes us better when we are saved.

The kids really enjoyed hearing this message because it isn't something that is normally taught. We don't always hear the positive in our lives. We tend to focus on the negative. Even at middle and high school age, we are already deprived of hearing that we aren't stupid or ugly.

I encourage you, reader, to speak truth into the lives of those around you. This means deflecting the lies that the world tells. Let your daughter know she is beautiful. Let your son know he is strong. Let your husband know how wonderful he is. Be an encourager.

Dear Edna, Thank You.

As you may have guessed, I am a Disney freak. One of my favorite non-princess movies is "The Incredibles." Surfing through Pinterest, I came a cross this little nugget:

I would love an Edna like this in my life. Someone to hit me with a newspaper when I start to fall apart. 

The Bible refers this method of encouragement as "iron sharpening iron." A good hit to keep you sharp. Have you ever seen a sword being made? It is put through fire, then hit repeatedly until it is the way the blacksmith wants it, then into cold water to set the metal. This process is repeated and repeated until the sword is perfect. But not just any tool can be used to sharpen the iron into a sword. It has to be an iron mallet. The same material rebuffing the other to make it into something extraordinary and useful.

When someone tries to sharpen us, we say they are being judgmental or even hypocritical, because they are the same as us (sinners). Guess what though? The mallet and sword are made from the same material. What would it be like if the sword told the iron to stop sharpening it because it was iron, too. That's silly, isn't it? We do the same thing when we wrongfully call someone judgmental or hypocritical when they are trying to help you become a better person.

Sharpening someone can come in many forms: a newspaper hitting you, harsh words, or even a gentile reminder. Most of the time our pride is what is struck. When someone is sharpening you, don't think the correction is mean or judgmental. Instead use it to better yourself. After all, if the iron sword resisted the iron mallet sharpening it, it would never become a useful weapon.

Today I challenge my readers to not only to let themselves be sharpened by others, but to also help sharpen someone else.

~*Beth*~

What Singles Need to Know About Marriage

Single friends. We all have them.

For people like me who got married right out of college, you probably have more single friends than married friends. Looking back on my single life, I can see why my mom would laugh about my unrealistic expectations of my future marriage. I now see those same ideals in my single friends. There are times where I want to roll on the floor laughing at them, but instead I just think to myself "You are in for a RUDE awakening!"

For all my single friends out there, these are my top 5 for what to expect in a normal marriage:

1. You will fight. A lot.

The first really big fight I had with my husband felt like the end of the world. I cried harder than when I had to put down my first horse. But once we had cooled down and apologized, we were just as happy as before. When I was single, I thought my husband and I would never fight because we are just ever so perfectly perfect for each other. WRONG! When you fight, never unleash your full fury. Fight in such a way that shows your Christian character. Don't stream out words that you have no business saying. Don't 

2. Whatever expectations you have of marriage... yeah, get rid of those.

Don't ever, Ever, EVER think this...

Your husband will do a lot of things that won't meet your expectations. Get over it! Do not under any circumstances "turn around" just because he doesn't do what you think he will. Husbands are human with free will. We cannot control their emotions and thoughts. My husband didn't cry when he saw me. Does that make him love me any less? Not at all!

3. Prince Charming is imperfect, too!

Women everywhere know that men mess up. Men know that women are just as guilty. Instead of wishing that your husband was more like a fictional character, learn to love him through his flaws. Patience is the key!

4. The Romance WILL fade, but that's OK!

It's a sad fact. The spark you have for each other will not always be there. A fire does not burn forever. Honestly, all this garb about dating to keep the flame alive is a load. If you are married, YOU'RE MARRIED, not dating. You are on a higher plane than couples who are dating. Be secure and satisfied in knowing that you have a spouse.

5. You are no longer your own.

The Bible speaks very clearly on how husbands and wives should treat each other. This includes submitting to your spouse. We often read "wives submit yourselves to your husband" and stop there. Guess what men, you also have a role: treat your wife as something valuable and precious. You should cherish her. This includes fulfilling her wishes. If she asks you to do something, treat her how you would want to be treated (also a Biblical truth). Ladies, this does not mean your husbands are your menservants! If they ask something of you, do it! This includes when they say no to that gorgeous purse you just have to have. Treating each other with respect will blossom your marriage!

Married people, use these tips to help your own marriage. Singles, you have been warned!

~*Beth*~

Snow White Syndrome

Ok so I have already expressed my love for Snow White. I am a Disney dork. Get over it.

Throughout my life I have been picked on, exiled, and have befriended people that would be considered "beneath me" according to my morals and social class. Why is this? Because of jealous girls.

I call this Snow White Syndrome (S.W.S)

Think about it: Snow White was shunned by the queen because of her beauty (not saying that is the reason I was shunned by others) and befriended those who were outside of her regular circle.

My S.W.S. occurred because of my high moral compass. It all began in grade school. If you were to meet me back then, you would notice immediately that I was not like the other kids. I was mild mannered and wouldn't play with others in my school group. Most often, I would be off singing to myself or playing alone. Why? Because I found my classmates to be crude and annoying. I did not like the games they played or the jokes they made. I was teased for not being like them.

To combat my loneliness, I would read, draw, or pull a Disney Princess and make up songs to sing. My classmates would make fun of my innocent behavior and tried their best to corrupt me. Of course I refused to be like them and separated myself even more from them. I was actually sent to the counselor because I wouldn't socialize.

I finally decided that if I was going to make friends, I would find others who felt the same way I did. I find two lovely ladies: Anastasia and Ashley. They stuck with me through the rest of our grade school days. In middle school, I transferred schools because the bullying was so bad. I though t I was safe, but it only took one girl to undo all of my happiness. She was so jealous of me that she filled my perfume bottle with pine sol, ruining one of my favorite things. She was later dismissed from the school due to other issues.

The bullying didn't stop. High school brought on new pressures: sex, drinking, drugs, leaving my beliefs in order to be accepted, you know the drill. I was able to withstand all of this due to my high moral compass. Yet again, S.W.S was rearing it's pretty little head and labeled me as a goody-goody.

College was the one place where relentless bullying was nonexistent. I was at a Christian school that accepted me just as I was... sort of. Even there I was labeled as a goody-goody with too rigid and narrow-minded beliefs. I guess when they said liberal arts college, they meant it! I wasn't bullied in college, but the label still held me back.

So here I am, a teacher at a private school that accepts my Snow White Syndrome and sees it as valuable. If you suffer from S.W.S in any way, shape, or form, do no try to change your wonderful ways. There is nothing wrong with the way you think, it is the world that has the problem.

Take just a moment to think of the Fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, and all the others. Galatians 5:22-23 lists these nine character traits as something all Christians should posses. I see all of those traits in Snow White. I admire this Disney Princess because she shows the perfect personality of a Christian (minus the constant singing and overly dramatic gestures. That's just Disney). Even through the hardest of times, she never once displayed a disrespectful attitude, nor did she dwell on the fact that the queen wanted her dead. She lived her life with a positive attitude and was grateful for everything, even while being treated like a slave girl and and outcast.

To all of those who have S.W.S of any degree, please do not change. Continue to do good deeds, to have a positive attitude, to see the good in others. Be trusting, be kind, be friendly. Bring joy into the lives of others. Make up songs to sing. Be a Snow White!

~*Beth*~

No Small Snakes

***Before reading this, please keep an open mind. Remember that our Christian battle is not fought in teh physical realm, but in the spiritual.***

Yesterday was possibly the most revealing service I have ever heard. My pastor read from Acts where a soothsayer girl was following Paul and Silas around proclaiming how they were from God and bring salvation. Paul became so annoyed that he cast out the demon and the girl lost her ability to see the future.

What's the big deal, right?

Looking closer at the scripture, there is a word used to describe the spirit: it was a spirit of divination, meaning soothsaying. (Haven't you already told us this?) Looking even closer at that word "divination" it is translated in the Greek to the word "pythos" which is where we get the word python. What do pythons do best? They squeeze, choke, and smother. Paul was annoyed at her because the spirit inside her was smothering him. (Read the Greek myth of the Oracle at Delphi to see the link between this spirit and the python.)

I honestly believe that this same spirit is running rampant today.

Think of the last time you felt joy, peace, and life in your everyday living. I can't. I have been so absorbed with my marriage, my job, and issues facing Christianity that I cannot breathe at times. It literally feels like the life is being squeezed out of me.

Sound like your life? This is evidence that this spirit is running a muck. Humanism is becoming the core of most doctrine today. It is all about how God can serve us and what God can do for us, not what we can do for God. If this is the doctrine of your church I encourage you to find a new church that preaches that "ole' time religion" where sin is sin and God owes us nothing.

 Being in a church that preaches sound doctrine (beliefs that line up with the Bible) is the most beneficial thing you can do for your walk with Christ. It makes the same difference as eating junk food v.s. eating healthy food. It may not always taste good, but you eat it because it is good for you.

Well, even if there is some "python spirit" what can we do about it?

In Isaiah 59, it gives a clear description about what sins this spirit brings. It also states that the Lord saw that thee was nothing that could be done about this because there was no intercessor. No one that was concerned about the well-being of others. They were too busy with what was going on in their own lives.

Have you heard the term strength in numbers? Surprisingly, this saying is quite Biblical. If Christians would ban together and unselfishly pray for others, this spirit will leave. We will one again feel peace and joy in our lives.

My challenge for you this week: pray for anyone and everyone instead of praying for yourself. Pray for God to lead your husband instead of complaining to your friends about him. Pray that your children will overcome anything that is thrown at them instead of focusing on why they can't do better in school. Pray for your Facebook friends when they post about the trouble of their lives instead of gossiping about them. Even pray for the people that drive by you in the road. They have just as much on their plate as you do.

When this happens, Isaiah says that God will raise up a standard (translated to be a wall of defense) and our enemy will vanish. When we focus on others we tend to forget about what was troubling us in the first place, almost like it disappears.

Take a moment to pray for someone else or listen to a troubled friend. The spiritual rewards will be greater than you can imagine.

~*Beth*~