Becoming Proverbs 31

All my life, I have wanted to be a wife. There was no question that I would marry a Godly man, raise Godly children, and be involved with my church. That was my vision for the future.

How did it turn out?

I am married (obviously), still waiting on the kids, and I spend every day except Saturday at church either teaching at the school, leading youth group, or attending services.

Seems great, right?

Over the past several months, I have been a very cold person. I have no close friendships, and have almost resolved to not make new ones. I don't want anyone except my family in my life right now. Why am I so bitter? Because I have experienced great pain and loss involving letting people into my life. My relationship with my husband has become stand-offish, a terrible thing to have. I keep him, and everyone for that matter, at arms length in fear of being hurt. Beginning with student teaching, my life has been a downward spiral into a pit of despair. I need healing. I need rescuing.

Lately God has been dealing quite heavily with me on my behavior. I have become isolated. I have covered myself up in order to avoid being hurt. In doing so, I have cut off the viable things of life, such as human relations. I have taken away a necessity for me to be healthy and thriving. I can feel the drought in my soul.

What am I to do?

To begin my journey of healing, I turned to the Bible. As a Christian, my desire is to align myself with God's word. But more specifically, I needed to align myself with the example God has given for a woman. In Proverbs 31, we read about the virtuous woman. She is an influential woman of God who is fully capable of handling anything that comes her way with grace and integrity.

Upon further research, I have come across these points and verses for how to be a Godly woman:

1. Put God first (Commandment number one, and Matthew 6:33-34)
2. Conduct yourself in a holy manner (Proverbs 7:18-29)
3. Speak and act truthfully and faithfully (7:18-29, 31:26)
4. Look after and care for your home (Proverbs 31:13, Titus 2:5)
5. Serve others (Proverbs 31: 15,20)
6. Be trustworthy (Proverbs 31:13)
7. Be financially responsible (Proverbs 31:16, 24)
8. Work hard (Proverbs 31:17, 19)
9. Have an honorable reputation (Proverbs 31:23)
10: Be meek and humble (Proverbs 9:13, 7:11, 31:26, 2 Timothy 2:24, 1 Peter 3:1-7)
11. Seek sound Biblical wisdom (Proverbs 31:26)
12. Serve the Lord fully (there are many verses for this, but I like Colossians 3:23 the best)
13.  Dress modestly and show true beauty (Proverbs 7:10)

These thirteen points seem like a lot, but it is what I (or any woman for that matter) should do in order to become the woman she is called to be according to the Bible. I look forward to sharing my journey with you, reader, and challenge you to align yourself with these standards with me. After all, it is better to travel together than to venture out alone.

God Bless.

Growing Apathetic

As I am searching for who I am, there are things I am finding that have lost my interest.

Heaven forbid that a fashionista like myself ever lose interest in clothing... but I have. The last time I went shopping, I was disappointed in the selection of clothing the stores had to offer. Call it a sign of maturity, but I have all but given up on looking like I just stepped out of a magazine. Clothing nowadays is so short, tight, and geared towards Twiggy looking kids that I have no use for it anymore. When I was a size 8, fashion seemed to come naturally... and that was just two years ago! I could walk in to any store and grab my size and look good in it. If I were to do that now, I would end up buying maybe one thing: a pair of shoes or jewelry. My size may be larger, but my body shape is the same (if that makes any sense).

Here I am at a size 8 and unwed. Still curvy through the hips and no thigh gap. A juicy pear shape.

This is what I want to be like again.

Talking to my husband about my weight, I asked him what his ideal body type was for women. He said confidence and I immediately thought "oh you liar."

Is anyone else having this battle? Wanting to please their husband, but he gives you answers like mine did?

Ugh.

With my growing apathy towards fashion, I realize that even if I wasn't a size 12, I would have less of a desire to dress like I used to. I don't want to impress anyone and I certainly don't want attention from any male other than my husband. With this, I am choosing clothes that are modest, mature, and professional. I am still in blue jeans every single day, but I am not casual like my sister who wears tennis shoes and tee shirts. I couldn't be that casual.

Anyone with advice or that can encourage the one who is supposed to be the encourager, please comment or message me. I could really use it.

The Source of True Confidence

Please read this post IN IT'S ENTIRETY before navigating away. Do not become angry, but try to see where I am going with this.

Confidence. We all want it and only a few possess it. But how do we obtain something so illusive? As humans, our confidence can be shattered with only a few harsh words. That's all it takes.

As a Christian, I feel it necessary to let my viewers know where I stand on this thing called  religion. I gave my heart to Jesus at a very young age and have never wavered. As you make have deduced, I am a very outspoken person and that goes double for the issues facing Christianity today and what the Bible says.

Last night the Wednesday service was about how worldly psychology has leaked in to the teaching behind the pulpit and into Christian counseling. This includes how man is not responsible for his actions, that man is in essence born "good" and is corrupted by society, and how we war with our conscience in order for us to decide what is right and wrong.

I would like to make the following points:

1. No man is born "good." We are corrupt because we are born into sin.

When we are born, we are born into a world of sin. No one is truly innocent. If that were the case then we could choose to never do bad and have no need for Jesus

2. We ARE responsible for our actions.

We were given something that no other creature was given: free will. We are the ones that make decisions. we are not controlled by God like a puppet. He chose to let us make decisions, so when we make the decision to follow him it is more meaningful. Think of it like choosing where you lived, what you were allowed to wear, and what food you could eat. If someone else made that decision for you then you wouldn't be as happy. I for one would be miserable! You cannot force love, it just happens. So does our love for Christ.

3. We war against our desire to do wrong and our knowledge of what is right.

Paul put it best when he said "The things I know not to do, I do, and the things I know to do, I do not do." We battle not for the balance between Id and the Superego, we as Christians balance our desire to sin and to please God.

Another tidbit that was in the sermon was about self-confidence. I found this particularly intriguing because of this blog. The number one thing women do is hate on ourselves. We are over critical of our body and how we behave. 

The Bible says that no man truly hates himself, and the more I thought about it the more I saw how true it is. We seek to please ourselves We want to be petted, told we are better than anyone else, and put in the spotlight (I am just as guilty as anyone else in the world). When this is unfulfilled, we call it lacking confidence.

 

Now, with all this said I would like to tell you what direction my blog will be taking form now on.

Instead of satisfying  the desire we have to feel better, I want us to focus on who we are in Christ. We should keep Him first and not focus on the World. Be satisfied in the fact that He made you a wonderful and beautiful creature, no matter what you weight or how you look. He loves you and wants you to love Him back.

Another point I would like to make is that this post is on no way to bash anyone or Christian counselors. The Bible even says that we are too seek good counsel and to lift each other up. I know how it feels to be torn down and made a fool of. I know what it is like to feel worthless and judged because of appearance. It hurts. IT also feels good to know I am not alone and that those things people tell me are in no way true.

I am here to encourage you, dear reader, and to keep you focused on what is truly important. Everyone needs a pick-me-up when they aren't feeling their best. I love encouraging others and helping them find their worth in Christ.

The fashion is also going to focus on modesty. Modest dress (not showing off your assets) is something this world has drifted away from. It hurts me that teen girls are told that to be fashionable, you MUST show off as much skin as you can. Not true! You are even more beautiful if you cover yourself appropriately.

I hope this post will not deter my readers. Please spread the word about this blog. If you wish to contact me on Facebook, I have the information listed on a previous post.

~*Beth*~