This past Saturday, I had a horrible dream. It was my wedding day and my (soon to be) husband, Kevin, told me he was having second thoughts only hours before the ceremony. It is every bride's worst nightmare! I began to follow him around trying to find out what was going on, only to discover that there was another woman. I confronted them and found out that this woman was everything I was not, which my husband once was: a smoking, rock music-listening (I gave up that kind of music after struggling with some personal matters), tattooed, pierced, drink-every-night kind of girl. Dream-Kevin wanted her instead of me because she accepted him the way he was.
Let me explain: I met my husband in college during his wild years. He smoked, drank behind the college's back, and wanted to eventually get a tattoo. I was the opposite. Although we both liked rock music and Ireland, we didn't share any other interests. We did, however, have the same friends that brought us together every so often. Kevin moved home to North Carolina after completing his coursework, and we began talking on Facebook.As our relationship grew, Kevin began to change. He gave up drinking and started the long road to quitting smoking. He still listens to rock music, but I don't fault him for it.
Months later, Kevin was back to Georgia to escort me to my Junior Formal, and to ask me to officially become his girlfriend. The night before Kevin's graduation, I met his family and loved them instantly! He and I spent the rest of the evening dancing and listening to music by Lake Hartwell. That was also the night he gave me a promise ring, the same one that his dad gave his mom. Not too long after graduation, he moved to Georgia so we could be closer. We spent every day together at my parent's house, and talked on the phone till we fell asleep. That September, he asked me to be his bride and we were married the following summer.
Kevin gave up everything to be with me - his home, his friends, his lifestyle. Until having the dream, I wasn't entirely grateful for what he has done to make our relationship work. You see, the girl in the dream wasn't a real person. She represented everything that Kevin left behind. In the dream, he wanted to go back to that lifestyle and knew our relationship wold not work well if he did so.
I began to cry, and not just tears running down my face kind of crying. I was sobbing. In the process, I woke Kevin up. He kept asking me what was wrong, but I was still halfway in the dream. I kept seeing Dream-girl and Kevin together and my heart broke. Finally, Kevin shook me fully awake and I told him about the dream. It wasn't until later that morning I realized the interpretation of it.
I am so thankful for my husband and the lengths he has gone in order to be with me. He has slain the dragons in his life so that he could be with his princess. Now, I am more appreciative than ever for what he has done.
Reader, go hug the person you love and thank them for what they have done for you.
Showing posts with label liberation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label liberation. Show all posts
Friday, April 11, 2014
Monday, March 3, 2014
Becoming Proverbs 31
All my life, I have wanted to be a wife. There was no question that I would marry a Godly man, raise Godly children, and be involved with my church. That was my vision for the future.
How did it turn out?
I am married (obviously), still waiting on the kids, and I spend every day except Saturday at church either teaching at the school, leading youth group, or attending services.
Seems great, right?
Over the past several months, I have been a very cold person. I have no close friendships, and have almost resolved to not make new ones. I don't want anyone except my family in my life right now. Why am I so bitter? Because I have experienced great pain and loss involving letting people into my life. My relationship with my husband has become stand-offish, a terrible thing to have. I keep him, and everyone for that matter, at arms length in fear of being hurt. Beginning with student teaching, my life has been a downward spiral into a pit of despair. I need healing. I need rescuing.
Lately God has been dealing quite heavily with me on my behavior. I have become isolated. I have covered myself up in order to avoid being hurt. In doing so, I have cut off the viable things of life, such as human relations. I have taken away a necessity for me to be healthy and thriving. I can feel the drought in my soul.
What am I to do?
To begin my journey of healing, I turned to the Bible. As a Christian, my desire is to align myself with God's word. But more specifically, I needed to align myself with the example God has given for a woman. In Proverbs 31, we read about the virtuous woman. She is an influential woman of God who is fully capable of handling anything that comes her way with grace and integrity.
Upon further research, I have come across these points and verses for how to be a Godly woman:
1. Put God first (Commandment number one, and Matthew 6:33-34)
2. Conduct yourself in a holy manner (Proverbs 7:18-29)
3. Speak and act truthfully and faithfully (7:18-29, 31:26)
4. Look after and care for your home (Proverbs 31:13, Titus 2:5)
5. Serve others (Proverbs 31: 15,20)
6. Be trustworthy (Proverbs 31:13)
7. Be financially responsible (Proverbs 31:16, 24)
8. Work hard (Proverbs 31:17, 19)
9. Have an honorable reputation (Proverbs 31:23)
10: Be meek and humble (Proverbs 9:13, 7:11, 31:26, 2 Timothy 2:24, 1 Peter 3:1-7)
11. Seek sound Biblical wisdom (Proverbs 31:26)
12. Serve the Lord fully (there are many verses for this, but I like Colossians 3:23 the best)
13. Dress modestly and show true beauty (Proverbs 7:10)
These thirteen points seem like a lot, but it is what I (or any woman for that matter) should do in order to become the woman she is called to be according to the Bible. I look forward to sharing my journey with you, reader, and challenge you to align yourself with these standards with me. After all, it is better to travel together than to venture out alone.
God Bless.
How did it turn out?
I am married (obviously), still waiting on the kids, and I spend every day except Saturday at church either teaching at the school, leading youth group, or attending services.
Seems great, right?
Over the past several months, I have been a very cold person. I have no close friendships, and have almost resolved to not make new ones. I don't want anyone except my family in my life right now. Why am I so bitter? Because I have experienced great pain and loss involving letting people into my life. My relationship with my husband has become stand-offish, a terrible thing to have. I keep him, and everyone for that matter, at arms length in fear of being hurt. Beginning with student teaching, my life has been a downward spiral into a pit of despair. I need healing. I need rescuing.
Lately God has been dealing quite heavily with me on my behavior. I have become isolated. I have covered myself up in order to avoid being hurt. In doing so, I have cut off the viable things of life, such as human relations. I have taken away a necessity for me to be healthy and thriving. I can feel the drought in my soul.
What am I to do?
To begin my journey of healing, I turned to the Bible. As a Christian, my desire is to align myself with God's word. But more specifically, I needed to align myself with the example God has given for a woman. In Proverbs 31, we read about the virtuous woman. She is an influential woman of God who is fully capable of handling anything that comes her way with grace and integrity.
Upon further research, I have come across these points and verses for how to be a Godly woman:
1. Put God first (Commandment number one, and Matthew 6:33-34)
2. Conduct yourself in a holy manner (Proverbs 7:18-29)
3. Speak and act truthfully and faithfully (7:18-29, 31:26)
4. Look after and care for your home (Proverbs 31:13, Titus 2:5)
5. Serve others (Proverbs 31: 15,20)
6. Be trustworthy (Proverbs 31:13)
7. Be financially responsible (Proverbs 31:16, 24)
8. Work hard (Proverbs 31:17, 19)
9. Have an honorable reputation (Proverbs 31:23)
10: Be meek and humble (Proverbs 9:13, 7:11, 31:26, 2 Timothy 2:24, 1 Peter 3:1-7)
11. Seek sound Biblical wisdom (Proverbs 31:26)
12. Serve the Lord fully (there are many verses for this, but I like Colossians 3:23 the best)
13. Dress modestly and show true beauty (Proverbs 7:10)
These thirteen points seem like a lot, but it is what I (or any woman for that matter) should do in order to become the woman she is called to be according to the Bible. I look forward to sharing my journey with you, reader, and challenge you to align yourself with these standards with me. After all, it is better to travel together than to venture out alone.
God Bless.
Monday, January 27, 2014
What I Wanted to Be
Growing up, every girl has a dream of what they imagine growing up will be like. From the kind of hobbies you will have to the man you marry, a girl who dreams can create some big standards for herself.
When I was growing up, I wanted to be a cheerleader, but if you know anything about me I couldn't do that for health reasons. I was 12 and in Rec Department cheerleading when I found out about my scoliosis. The coach was my cousin and knew I wasn't going to be held back by it, so it was never an issue, even with the brace. I was just so happy to finally be a cheerleader!
Then comes age 16: the first (and only) time I tried out for cheerleading.
I made the JV squad since it was my first year and was beyond happy, however I wasn't popular and was the new fish in the sea of pom poms and hair bows. Naturally, I tried my best to smile and come out of my shell in order to fit in. I had a cousin on the squad, which made things easier as far as making friends went. I was welcome by everyone... except the captain. It wasn't anything negative about my cheering or my personality that bugged her. It was the threat of competition. It was made very apparent that she was not captain based on her cheering capability.
I know this sounds like bragging, but I am just speaking truth. All my friends and family told me that I was definitely one of the best on the squad, even the varsity coach said so.
Why is this such a big deal? Isn't this a bit juvenile for you?
Maybe... but that isn't the end of this story.
As time went on, her jealousy turned me against cheerleading and ultimately led me to quitting the squad, a decision I will regret forever.
I did try to reconnect with my inner-cheerleader during college. There were a group of girls who resurrected the Emmanuel cheerleading squad. I had befriended them at the gym, and, after some impressive dance and cheering exercises, they wanted me to join the squad. The unfortunate part was I could never be a cheerleader again. The summer the squad was to debut at camp, I would be having my spine surgery. This was a devastating blow to my mantra of not letting anything hold you back.
Reminiscing on what I wanted to be, life isn't how I expected it to be. At age 13, I wrote down a list of goals I wanted to accomplish in life. Somewhere along the line, I lost the list. To this day I don't have much to show for it. As hard as one may try, there are always limitations that will cause your goals to go unmet. The limitations can be physical, mental, or even spiritual. Whatever the limitations, one should never give up simply because a goal was unmet, or a dream ended. Limitations are not the end of the world. They are a chance to back up and start over.
Maybe now is a good time to reassess my life goals and start a new list, a more mature list. Maybe one with more depth than my 13 year old self had.
When I was growing up, I wanted to be a cheerleader, but if you know anything about me I couldn't do that for health reasons. I was 12 and in Rec Department cheerleading when I found out about my scoliosis. The coach was my cousin and knew I wasn't going to be held back by it, so it was never an issue, even with the brace. I was just so happy to finally be a cheerleader!
Then comes age 16: the first (and only) time I tried out for cheerleading.
I made the JV squad since it was my first year and was beyond happy, however I wasn't popular and was the new fish in the sea of pom poms and hair bows. Naturally, I tried my best to smile and come out of my shell in order to fit in. I had a cousin on the squad, which made things easier as far as making friends went. I was welcome by everyone... except the captain. It wasn't anything negative about my cheering or my personality that bugged her. It was the threat of competition. It was made very apparent that she was not captain based on her cheering capability.
I know this sounds like bragging, but I am just speaking truth. All my friends and family told me that I was definitely one of the best on the squad, even the varsity coach said so.
Why is this such a big deal? Isn't this a bit juvenile for you?
Maybe... but that isn't the end of this story.
As time went on, her jealousy turned me against cheerleading and ultimately led me to quitting the squad, a decision I will regret forever.
I did try to reconnect with my inner-cheerleader during college. There were a group of girls who resurrected the Emmanuel cheerleading squad. I had befriended them at the gym, and, after some impressive dance and cheering exercises, they wanted me to join the squad. The unfortunate part was I could never be a cheerleader again. The summer the squad was to debut at camp, I would be having my spine surgery. This was a devastating blow to my mantra of not letting anything hold you back.
Reminiscing on what I wanted to be, life isn't how I expected it to be. At age 13, I wrote down a list of goals I wanted to accomplish in life. Somewhere along the line, I lost the list. To this day I don't have much to show for it. As hard as one may try, there are always limitations that will cause your goals to go unmet. The limitations can be physical, mental, or even spiritual. Whatever the limitations, one should never give up simply because a goal was unmet, or a dream ended. Limitations are not the end of the world. They are a chance to back up and start over.
Maybe now is a good time to reassess my life goals and start a new list, a more mature list. Maybe one with more depth than my 13 year old self had.
Thursday, November 14, 2013
Dealing with It
this week during our group devotion time, I have been discussing salvation. God really laid it hard and heavy on my heart on Sunday when I was planning. I was focusing especially hard on the Old Testament law such as what it was and how it tied in to Christianity today.
Day 1: We are never good enough (Matthew 5:17-20)
Day 2: If we are in Christ, we are free from the law. However, if it wasn't for the law, we would not know what is sin and how inadequate we are (Romans 7:4-7)
Day 3: We are free from the law of sin and death. We are not to focus on the things of the flesh, or earthly things, but on spiritual things instead (Romans 8:1-9)
Day 4 (today): The story of Nicodemus (Luke 3:1-19)
After reading, a student who is a self-declared Atheist slipped me a note saying that it is things like my devotions that make him glad he is an Atheist because he does not have to believe any of it. I was taken aback by his defiant and rude letter.Immediately I wanted to pull him out and tell him how disrespectful he is.
This, of course, is not the right action.
In the past, I was always the first to react to someone's disrespect of my God and my beliefs. Now my heart breaks for him. He is simply acting out as a way of showing conviction. He has questioned me on several occasions on my beliefs, to which I always give a proper response. Now I am in uncharted waters. I am dealing with a student instead of a peer, who is at a pivotal point in his life.
Today I am praying and researching on how to best deal with this situation. Your prayers and support are greatly appreciated.
Day 1: We are never good enough (Matthew 5:17-20)
Day 2: If we are in Christ, we are free from the law. However, if it wasn't for the law, we would not know what is sin and how inadequate we are (Romans 7:4-7)
Day 3: We are free from the law of sin and death. We are not to focus on the things of the flesh, or earthly things, but on spiritual things instead (Romans 8:1-9)
Day 4 (today): The story of Nicodemus (Luke 3:1-19)
After reading, a student who is a self-declared Atheist slipped me a note saying that it is things like my devotions that make him glad he is an Atheist because he does not have to believe any of it. I was taken aback by his defiant and rude letter.Immediately I wanted to pull him out and tell him how disrespectful he is.
This, of course, is not the right action.
In the past, I was always the first to react to someone's disrespect of my God and my beliefs. Now my heart breaks for him. He is simply acting out as a way of showing conviction. He has questioned me on several occasions on my beliefs, to which I always give a proper response. Now I am in uncharted waters. I am dealing with a student instead of a peer, who is at a pivotal point in his life.
Today I am praying and researching on how to best deal with this situation. Your prayers and support are greatly appreciated.
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Lovely Legs
This picture made me giggle. It also has inspired today's post!
Way back in the day of your grandmother, curves were highly valued in America. They were a sign of sex appeal. They were a sign of health. They were what men desired.
Women back in the day looked more like this:
Notice her lower half. Large, meaty thighs, a firm tush, and killer calves! This was an ideal woman in the 50's. Her tummy was small, and her hips were full.
For contrast, let us look at an ideal woman model today:
Notice her overall thinness. Thin legs, arms, middle, and face. This is the image given to our country f how a woman should look.
I just have one question....
Ladies, love your body for what it is. Don't strive to be something different because it is what people say you should look like. If you are healthy, then who cares? So go ahead, bare those non touching legs!
Monday, October 7, 2013
Noises
This world is full of a lot of noise from people. Noise from their opinions on how you should live your life. Noise of complaints about how hard their life is and your life isn't important. Nose saying how you should dress, look, act, and think.
In the midst of all the noise in my life, I have somehow found a much quieter place where I can go to think. In that quiet place I can only hear the sounds of nature. Wind whispering through the leaves. The water of the pond coming alive with birds and amphibians. The sound of a family of hummingbirds flitting back and forth between flowers.
This is a place at my parents' house where I could go and think.Their entire pasture was my walking/horse riding trail where I could escape the noise.
The noise of nature is much more appealing. It is this kind of noise that helps wash away all the negative noise of others around me. The sensation is similar to taking a warm shower when you have been soaked by cold rain.
The noises we have in our life come in all volumes and pitches. It can be a loud, deep pitch that blocks out all other noises, or a quieter, high pitch that annoys you. Among all the noises in my life right now, I am beginning to find ways to silence those noises.
There are many ways to deal with noise. You can confront whatever is making the noise and silence the source. For example, if a noise is consonantly making you feel bad, you can tell the noise how you feel. The noise could even change its tune and be a positive noise.
However, if a noise is hurtful and you have tried to confront the noise, you may have to not be around that noise. So far, I have found that removing yourself from a noisy situation is one of the best ways to get rid of noise. I have one noise in particular that always makes me feel miserable and less than who I really am. My way of dealing? I stay away from that noise. When you can't hear the noise, it no longer has effect on you.
Not all noises are bad. My quiet place is full of noise, but it is noise that doesn't bombard me. Cling to the noise that you want to listen to. I give this advice with caution, though. Sometimes noise we think is good noise is actually a harmful noise in disguise. Do not seek constant flattery, but instead seek a healthy range of noises. I know one person who has proclaimed that they will only have positive noises in their life. The harm: sometimes we need a sharp noise to keep us in check. If our pride gets to big, we need a noise to remind us that life isn't just about us. If we get into things we shouldn't, we need a voice to remind us that we are better than that. At the same time, if we get down, we need a voice that will lift us up. It is all about having balance.
My challenge, reader, is to evaluate the voices in your life. See if there are some you can let go. See if there are some noises you need to thank for keeping you in check. See if you need a specific noise to enrich your life. Who knows, maybe you could be the noise someone else needs to complete their life.
In the midst of all the noise in my life, I have somehow found a much quieter place where I can go to think. In that quiet place I can only hear the sounds of nature. Wind whispering through the leaves. The water of the pond coming alive with birds and amphibians. The sound of a family of hummingbirds flitting back and forth between flowers.
This is a place at my parents' house where I could go and think.Their entire pasture was my walking/horse riding trail where I could escape the noise.
The noise of nature is much more appealing. It is this kind of noise that helps wash away all the negative noise of others around me. The sensation is similar to taking a warm shower when you have been soaked by cold rain.
The noises we have in our life come in all volumes and pitches. It can be a loud, deep pitch that blocks out all other noises, or a quieter, high pitch that annoys you. Among all the noises in my life right now, I am beginning to find ways to silence those noises.
There are many ways to deal with noise. You can confront whatever is making the noise and silence the source. For example, if a noise is consonantly making you feel bad, you can tell the noise how you feel. The noise could even change its tune and be a positive noise.
However, if a noise is hurtful and you have tried to confront the noise, you may have to not be around that noise. So far, I have found that removing yourself from a noisy situation is one of the best ways to get rid of noise. I have one noise in particular that always makes me feel miserable and less than who I really am. My way of dealing? I stay away from that noise. When you can't hear the noise, it no longer has effect on you.
Not all noises are bad. My quiet place is full of noise, but it is noise that doesn't bombard me. Cling to the noise that you want to listen to. I give this advice with caution, though. Sometimes noise we think is good noise is actually a harmful noise in disguise. Do not seek constant flattery, but instead seek a healthy range of noises. I know one person who has proclaimed that they will only have positive noises in their life. The harm: sometimes we need a sharp noise to keep us in check. If our pride gets to big, we need a noise to remind us that life isn't just about us. If we get into things we shouldn't, we need a voice to remind us that we are better than that. At the same time, if we get down, we need a voice that will lift us up. It is all about having balance.
My challenge, reader, is to evaluate the voices in your life. See if there are some you can let go. See if there are some noises you need to thank for keeping you in check. See if you need a specific noise to enrich your life. Who knows, maybe you could be the noise someone else needs to complete their life.
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
What Singles Need to Know About Marriage
Single friends. We all have them.
For people like me who got married right out of college, you probably have more single friends than married friends. Looking back on my single life, I can see why my mom would laugh about my unrealistic expectations of my future marriage. I now see those same ideals in my single friends. There are times where I want to roll on the floor laughing at them, but instead I just think to myself "You are in for a RUDE awakening!"
For all my single friends out there, these are my top 5 for what to expect in a normal marriage:
1. You will fight. A lot.
The first really big fight I had with my husband felt like the end of the world. I cried harder than when I had to put down my first horse. But once we had cooled down and apologized, we were just as happy as before. When I was single, I thought my husband and I would never fight because we are just ever so perfectly perfect for each other. WRONG! When you fight, never unleash your full fury. Fight in such a way that shows your Christian character. Don't stream out words that you have no business saying. Don't
2. Whatever expectations you have of marriage... yeah, get rid of those.
Don't ever, Ever, EVER think this...
Don't ever, Ever, EVER think this...
Your husband will do a lot of things that won't meet your expectations. Get over it! Do not under any circumstances "turn around" just because he doesn't do what you think he will. Husbands are human with free will. We cannot control their emotions and thoughts. My husband didn't cry when he saw me. Does that make him love me any less? Not at all!
3. Prince Charming is imperfect, too!
Women everywhere know that men mess up. Men know that women are just as guilty. Instead of wishing that your husband was more like a fictional character, learn to love him through his flaws. Patience is the key!
4. The Romance WILL fade, but that's OK!
It's a sad fact. The spark you have for each other will not always be there. A fire does not burn forever. Honestly, all this garb about dating to keep the flame alive is a load. If you are married, YOU'RE MARRIED, not dating. You are on a higher plane than couples who are dating. Be secure and satisfied in knowing that you have a spouse.
5. You are no longer your own.
The Bible speaks very clearly on how husbands and wives should treat each other. This includes submitting to your spouse. We often read "wives submit yourselves to your husband" and stop there. Guess what men, you also have a role: treat your wife as something valuable and precious. You should cherish her. This includes fulfilling her wishes. If she asks you to do something, treat her how you would want to be treated (also a Biblical truth). Ladies, this does not mean your husbands are your menservants! If they ask something of you, do it! This includes when they say no to that gorgeous purse you just have to have. Treating each other with respect will blossom your marriage!
Married people, use these tips to help your own marriage. Singles, you have been warned!
~*Beth*~
5. You are no longer your own.
The Bible speaks very clearly on how husbands and wives should treat each other. This includes submitting to your spouse. We often read "wives submit yourselves to your husband" and stop there. Guess what men, you also have a role: treat your wife as something valuable and precious. You should cherish her. This includes fulfilling her wishes. If she asks you to do something, treat her how you would want to be treated (also a Biblical truth). Ladies, this does not mean your husbands are your menservants! If they ask something of you, do it! This includes when they say no to that gorgeous purse you just have to have. Treating each other with respect will blossom your marriage!
Married people, use these tips to help your own marriage. Singles, you have been warned!
~*Beth*~
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)